


Forevermore

by pandorasxbox



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Consensual Underage Sex, Death, Drinking, Durincest, Gambling, Ghost Sex, Grief, Hitmen, Jealousy, M/M, Murder, Spirit Guide, Spirit World, casino - Freeform, greed - Freeform, hostage, major decision, other dimension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-31 19:18:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 41,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3989668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasxbox/pseuds/pandorasxbox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erebor Casino and Hotel is one of the most lucrative casinos in the city of Dale, and its heir and owner Thorin has lost it all in a bet with another casino owner, Smaug. Refusing to make good on that bet, Thorin has put himself as well as his family in danger. There are hitmen out for his blood as well as the rest of the Durin family.<br/>After so many deaths and threats, one member of the Durin family is hell-bent on ending his family's torment as well as his own, and hoping to protect those he loves in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own these Tolkien/Jackson characters.  
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili finds out the truth about their father's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I could think about writing about Fili and the stars was the line in the Queen song "Long Away" - "For every star in Heaven, there's a sad soul here today..."

Late one evening, little Kili woke up to find his older brother, Fili staring out their bedroom window. Their father had just died a few months earlier, and Fili wasn’t doing so well. Kili missed his father too, but the loss was much harder on Fili. 

Everyone kept telling him that he needed to be brave and strong, that he needed to take care of his mother and little brother, Kili now. Fili felt very sad, scared, and alone. Searching the skies outside their bedroom window, he focused on one star that seemed to shine brighter than the others. 

“Whatcha doin’ Fee?” The small sleepy voice asked from their bed.

“Talking to Daddy.” Fili sat in a chair leaning on the window sill.

“Really? Daddy’s here? Where is he? Can I talk to him too?” Kili jumped excitedly from the bed, and ran to the window standing on tiptoes searching for their father across the snow covered mountain forest surrounding their modest home.

“Up there, Kee. See that bright star? The one right over there.” Fili hopped off the chair and lifted Kili up to stand on it as he pointed toward the brightest star in the dark night sky.

The sky was filled with thousands of stars on this very cold clear night. Little Kili didn’t understand. “It’s just a star, Fili…Uncle Thorin said stars are nothing but cold light.”

Fili shut his eyes to hold back the tears. “No they’re not! Dad told me stars are the souls of our ancestors that have passed on. I know that brightest star is Daddy’s soul watching over us, Kili.” 

Kili hopped off the chair just as Fili pushed past him to jump into their bed. Pulling the blankets up to his chin he began to cry. “I wish Dad really was hear to talk to me.”

Tears stung Kili’s eyes as he crawled into bed and wrapped his little body around his big brother. “I’m sorry, Fee. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” The tiny brunet brushed Fili’s soft curls trying to comfort him the best he could. 

“You don’t understand, Kee. You can’t possibly understand how much I miss Dad, and how I feel knowing everyone’s expecting so much of me now!” The young Durin sobbed into his pillow until he was exhausted, and sleep took him as his little brother followed into his dreams.

~`~

A few years had passed, and Kili was now the age Fili had been when their father, Vili was murdered. Their mother, Dís protected their fragile innocents by withholding the truth about Vili’s death. Fili’s life was forever changed the moment he overheard a conversation between their uncle Thorin and his mother concerning his father’s death.

“Thorin! You can’t just walk up to someone and shoot them because you _think_ he was the one that killed Vili!” Dis immediately slapped a hand over her mouth when she saw her eldest son standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “Oh, Fili! I didn’t know you were there!” 

Thorin closed his eyes and took a calming breath as he watched the interaction between his sister and his eldest nephew. Fili was brought to tears with the realization that his father was murdered, and wasn’t killed in a car accident as he and Kili had always been told. 

Dis held her thirteen-year-old son and stroked his hair while she rocked him in her arms where they stood. “I’m so sorry, Fili. I didn’t want you and Kili to know the awful truth. I had planned to tell you someday, just not at your age yet.”

“Why, Mom? Why would someone want to kill Dad? He was a great man!” The young teen was shocked and very confused by this new revelation. 

Dis looked to Thorin unsure if he would have any words to help in the matter, considering it was all because of him that her husband and father to her sons was no longer with them. 

Thorin sat down with Fili at the kitchen table waiting for him to calm down while Dis made him some hot chocolate. After giving Fili his drink, she handed Thorin a beer. Thorin gave her a nod of thanks as he started trying to explain things to his nephew. “Fili, this is a very serious matter, and you have to promise me, you will _not_ repeat any of this to Kili, or anyone else, do you understand?”

Fili lowered his eyes and nodded in acknowledgement. “When can I tell Kili?”

“ _I_ will tell Kili when the time is right. For now, you need to keep what I tell you to yourself…Fili? Do you understand?” Thorin had to be sure Fili could keep this serious secret. 

Again Fili nodded but held Thorin’s gaze. His blue eyes filled with so many questions, Thorin didn’t know where to begin. Dis sat at the end of the table and put on hand on her son’s arm. “It’s family business, Fili. Seems as though our ancestors left a legacy of failed gamblers." She shot her brother a side look. "And your uncle is not immune to that fate." 

Thorin turned his head in shame listening to his sister try to explain their family's ill fate, but he stepped in to continue the story. "Fili, your great grandfather built our empire on gambling, but he also almost lost everything our family ever created." 

Fili just became a teenager. He could care less about gambling, and the family business. He knew his uncles lived well, but his mother had chosen to live in the mountains away from the fast paced glamorous life of the wealthy rich and famous folks his ancestors had built their fortune on in the city. Erebor Casino and Hotel was one of the biggest money making casinos in this gambling town. 

"What does this have to do with Dad?" Fili sniffed and wiped the tears from his cheeks. 

"Vili was in the wrong place, at the wrong time...we believe someone was trying to kill me." Thorin looked Fili directly in the eye making sure he understood, this was no joke. This was serious business. This needed to be kept a secret. "I owed someone big, and I refused to pay up. Smaug will get nothing from me! Your great grandfather and grandfather were murdered over gambling debts, and I'll probably be next."

Dis gave Fili a worried look. "We're actually all in danger because of these hitmen. That's why I chose to live here in seclusion when your father and I married, far away with you and Kili to keep you safe. It's best you two never go near that sin city."

Fili thought it all to be ridiculous with an obvious fix. "Then pay up, Uncle Thorin! Give this Smaug guy what he wants!"

Dis and Thorin's faces paled at the boys suggestion. "Fili...it's not that simple...he's trying to take over our casino. He accused Thorin of cheating even after Thorin gave him the money he owed him. Legal or not, Smaug is devious and has no conscious. He'll stop at nothing to get what he wants."

"And I didn't cheat!" Thorin snapped as he raised his voice and his tone darkened. "He cheated me! He made sure I got very drunk, and talked me into betting the casino! They _will_ have to kill me, because I'll _never_ part with a single coin!"

"So who are _they_ ? Who's trying to kill you?" All the young teen wanted to do was try to find a logical solution to their family's problem.

"We don't know who the hitmen are...but, we all have to watch our backs." Fili felt his mother's fingers tighten around his forearm. "They have left threats to kill us all...one by one until they get what they want..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading - Comments are welcome!


	2. Not Taking A Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili's not taking any chances with their future as he prepares to defend himself and or his family.  
> This is also the time Fili and Kili confess their love for one another. They are fourteen and seventeen in this chapter.

Over the next four years, Fili kept his word, and never mentioned anything to Kili about their father’s murder. He found inner peace learning karate, becoming a black belt, but took a liking to throwing sharp objects like Chinese throwing stars and small daggers to burn off the anger that would build within him at times.

Kili thought his older brother was very cool until he used him to practice karate moves on from time-to-time, but he had no desire to learn any of the martial arts, nor did he want to touch any of Fili’s sharp weapons. His innocence kept his demeanor light and playful. He couldn’t understand why Fili had become so serious and aggressive.

“Oof!” Kili struggled to catch his breath after being slammed on his back into the thankfully, soft grassy earth by his agile, muscular brother. 

Fili held out a hand to pull his unsuspecting victim to his feet. “You need to learn how to defend yourself, Kili.”

“Who exactly am I…” Kili bent over with his hands on his knees, and choked still trying to find his breath. “trying to defend myself against, besides you?”

Kili gave Fili a brooding look wiping dead leaves from his clothing. Fili walked past him heading off toward the tree stump he used to chop wood. The sound of splitting logs and the whump of the ax echoed in the clearing around the back of their wooded home.

“You should be doing this!” _WHUMP!_ Fili picked up the divide wood and threw it in a pile. “You're so skinny, you need to build up some muscle. Not to mention you need to start helping around here!”

“I just turned fourteen, what do you want me to do? I never bothered to ask if you needed help with anything because you always just do everything on your own!” Kili shook his straggly long hair with his fingers to shake out the pieces of grass entwined in it.

Dis looked up from working in her garden when she heard her sons arguing about something. When Fili handed the ax to Kili, she marched right over to them. 

“No!” She jerked the ax out of Kili’s hand and threw it aside. “Kili, go inside. I need to speak with your brother.” 

“Yes, ma'am.” Kili bowed his head and did as he was told.

Dis waited until Kili was out of sight before she pulled Fili into her arms to try and calm her angry son. Her tears fell into his blond curls as she pressed a kiss into his hair.

“Fili…oh Fili, you need to stop this! Don’t take your anger out on your brother. He’s still young, and even if I agree it’s time for him to do some work around here, you need to learn how to have some fun. Be your brother’s best friend again, he needs you!”

As Dis loosened her arms about him, Fili looked up with a tears pooling in his blue eyes. “It’s not just about work, Mom. I want him to become strong like me, and learn how to defend himself. I want to keep Kili safe. He needs to learn some kind of self-defense.”

It was clear now. Dis knew exactly where Fili’s mind had been all these years. “Fili, you need to let go of the past. It’s been many years, and Smaug has not so much as raised an eyebrow at Thorin. I believe the bad blood between them has finally ended.” 

She brushed some loose curls behind his ear. “Please don’t dwell on the past. Try to be the happy boy you always had been before you found out about…that.” With an arm around Fili’s shoulder, she coaxed him to walk with her. “Come on. Let’s go inside and I’ll make us some iced tea.” 

Just as they started to walk toward the back of the house, Dis smiled to see her other older brother coming out the back door with Kili. 

Fili smiled for the first time in days as he ran into his uncle’s arms. “Frerin!”

Frerin steadied himself at the force at which Fili ran into him and laughed. “Good to see too, Fili!” With a nod he greeted is sister. “Dis.”

“What brings you out of the city to visit with us country folk?” 

Fili looked up sheepishly at his uncle then his mother. “I asked him to come.”

“I thought you knew, Dis.” Frerin gave Fili a look of discontent. 

Dis was disappointed in Fili as well. “What? No, I didn’t know he asked you. Why did you ask Frerin to come here, Fee?”

Fili was afraid to answer after the discussion he and his mother just had. “I wanted Frerin to teach me and Kili how to use guns.”

Trying to hide how she really felt, Dis threw her hands on her hips. “No! Absolutely not! Fili, you shouldn’t have asked this of Frerin without asking me first!”

Kili took a step forward and spoke up. “I want to, Mom.” It was the first time he ever seemed genuinely interested in learning anything besides video games. “I want to learn to shoot. It would something fun Fili and I could do together.”

Frerin shrugged his shoulders at Dis. “They’re your boys. I’ll do whatever you decide.” 

~`~

After a long day spent with their uncle learning the art of firing different guns, Frerin turned off their bedroom light and said good night as the boys settled into their bed together. Fili turned away from the wall to face Kili lying next to him. He felt good about everything, and he was proud of what Kili had accomplished. Dis even let him teach Kili how to chop firewood as Frerin had talked his little sister into firing a few rounds herself. 

“You did good today, Kee.” Fili squeezed his little brother’s aching bicep. “Are you sore?”

Kili was almost asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The young teen was exhausted from the day’s activities. “Huh? Yeah…my arms, my back…everything hurts…but it’s all good, Fee. I had fun with you today.”

“Do you want me to rub your back for you?”

“No, just need to get some sleep, and I’ll be alright.”

“Okay. Good night, Kee.” Mindlessly Fili kissed his brother’s lips in a chaste way, but caused them both to inhale sharply. “I’m sorry, Kee, I-I didn’t mean to…”

The second Fili started to back away, Kili was wide awake and chased after Fili kissing him with much neediness pinning his older brother’s in place against the wall. Fili couldn’t move back any further with his back against the wall, he gently, but firmly took his suddenly aggressive little brother by the arm to pull him off of him.

“Kili! What are you doing? I kissed you by accident, it…it didn’t mean…”

“I’m sorry, Fee…I thought for a minute you liked me the way I like you.”

“What do you mean, the way you like me?” Fili secretly hoped, but worried his little brother felt the same way he did for him.

“I feel stupid now…” Lower his eyes, Kili felt embarrassed. 

“Don’t…you’re not stupid.” Fili lifted Kili’s chin to look into his sweet, brown doe eyes as his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. “Do you love me?”

Kili was wary, but knew his brother would never make fun of him over such a delicate situation. It was time for the truth. “Yes…more than a brother…I’m in love with you. I’m sure you think I’m crazy now, don’t you.”

“Not at all…because I’m in love with you too.” They moved in for another kiss that lingered after their lips parted. 

“Why is this? We’re brothers, we shouldn’t feel this way.” The younger brother was honestly confused by his own feelings. 

“I know. You know I’ve been with a lot of girls. Never thought about guys…except for you. I don’t know why it's happening. I just feel we have a much deeper connection than being brothers.”

“I know what you mean. I’ve always looked up to you as a brother, but over the past year, I’ve been jealous of the girls you’ve fucked in our bed when Mom’s not home. I’d sit outside and wait for you to take them home so I didn’t have to listen to you. It was awful! I just wanted to punch those little sluts for being with you because…I felt like you we _mine_.” Kili moved back trying to come to grips with how he felt, and what he just confessed.

Fili reached out to pad his fingertips across his little brother’s bare chest then laid a hand over his beating heart. “I felt so wrong wanting you. You being younger, and so innocent. I thought there was something wrong with me. That’s why I kept bringing girls home, thinking eventually I’d find someone to fall in love with. To stop thinking about you, but it was always you. Every night having you lying here next to me, our skin not even touching, I was on fire wanting you.” 

Kili leaned closer to whisper over Fili's lips. “Touch me now, Fee.”

The blond’s eyes widen in the darkness as he pulled his hand away. “We can’t do this, Kee.”

“Please Fili. We can't deny what we feel. Touch me…there…” Kili pulled his cock out of his briefs.

“I-I…you’re too young, Kee…” Fili felt his body trembling with the lust he felt for Kili when his little brother guided his hand down to wrap around his erection smoothing over the velvety skin.

“Don’t fight it Fili. I know you’re worried about me. You’re not doing anything wrong if I’m begging you for it. It's not like I'm asking you to fuck me. Make me come in your hand, Fee. I want to do it to you too.” Once over the initial embarrassment of what they were about to do, Fili relaxed letting his younger brother take the lead. 

Nothing felt more like they had drifted into nirvana than the moment they both climaxed together. The pleasure Fili gave Kili and allowed Kili to give him made him feel guilty, but sated and complete all the same. 

Kili smiled like a chesire cat knowing he could make his strong, self-assured seventeen-year-old brother come undone by the work of his hands as he snuggled against his brother’s broad chest. This was the best day and night ever. 

All of his accomplishments this day made him feel like he had become a man from the rush he got from using his muscles to swing the ax cutting firewood, to the feel of a powerful weapon in his control. Firing with deadly accuracy, Kili was a natural, and the guns felt comfortable in his grasp as if he had always known how to hit his target. 

Hours late into the night, Fili lay there unable to sleep. He slipped from their bed and quietly went to sit by the window searching the sky for his father's soul to comfort him. _'Dad, I hope you're not disappointed in us falling in love this way. Something just feels right about it, like we were meant to be together.'_

Kili stirred awake and saw Fili staring out the window where he would find him quite often in the middle of the night. "Fee...I don't mean anything by it, and I don't want to hurt you, but...Dad can't hear you. He's really gone forever." 

"I don't believe that, Kee. I believe there are spirits around us that watch over us, and guide us." Fili turned his attention outside once more. "I would hope you wouldn't forget about me if I died, Kee."

"How could I forget you? You're everything to me, and even more now. I love you, even though I think you're crazy for talking to stars, but if talking to light makes you happy, I promise I won't say anything about it again." Fili grinned and shook his head watching Kili roll over and drift off to sleep knowing they would have this conversation again someday. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I appreciate the kudos guys! Comments are welcome!


	3. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili's uncles throw him an eighteenth birthday party with a few surprises.

Thorin and Frerin’s home was located on the outskirts of the gambling district in the city of Dale. The millionaire businessmen’s sprawling mansion was the location of every Durin family celebration, and Fili’s eighteenth birthday was no exception. Thorin and Frerin went all out on their eldest nephew’s party, sparing no expense. 

The alcohol was flowing freely from the full open bar, and many people had gathered around the live band playing on the terrace to dance. The infinity pool invited many guests as did the hot tubs.

Fili and Kili’s cousin, Ori caught sight of them as they walked along together stopping to chat with all the guests. Running up to greet them, he threw his arms around Fili giving him a big squeeze, bouncing up and down.

“Happy Birthday Fili!”

“Ori! Thanks, it’s good to see you again!” As Fili steadied his older cousin, he could clearly tell Ori had quite a bit to drink already. 

“There are some girls over there at the hot tub that wanted me to find you and tell you they want you to join them.” Giving his cousin an elbow poke, Ori grinned impishly.

"I'm not dressed for it."

Kili frowned looking past Fili toward the hot tub seeing the young women in the hot tub drinking their fruity drinks and staring at them. “Why don’t you get in there with them Ori?” Hoping to divert the idea of his brother joining them, Kili offered Ori the opportunity. 

“Oh, they don’t want me, they want the birthday boy! And I’m sure since you’re not dressed for it, they wouldn’t mind if the birthday boy was wearing his birthday suit, if you know what I mean.” Fili and Ori laughed at his stupid remark, but Kili walked away in a huff disappearing into the crowd of people near where the band was playing. 

“What’s the matter with him?” Ori knew Kili could be moody, but most of the time they always had a lot of fun together and was having a great time at the party until now.

Fili knew immediately what was wrong. “He’s alright, Ori. Maybe I’ll get him a drink later and he’ll lighten up.”

“He’s only fifteen.”

“And we’re at our uncle’s house…he ain’t driving...he’ll be fine. I promise I won’t get him drunk.”

“What about your mom?”

“She’ll never know. She’s off getting drunk with Dwalin somewhere. Jeeze, Ori! Stop worrying so much, you’re starting to sound like Dori! Maybe I need to throw you in the hot tub with those girls!”

From the upstairs balcony, Frerin called to his nephew below. “Fili! Up here!” Once he had his attention, he called him on his phone. “Come upstairs to the sitting room and bring Ori with you.”

“What about Kili?”

“No, try to sneak up here without Kee, but bring Ori and see if you can find Nori and Dwalin, bring them too.” Ori set off to find Nori while Fili searched for Dwalin. 

When Fili couldn’t find Dwalin in the kitchen, he stop to checkout all the delicious looking food still laid out on the table. A few giggles and quiet voices came from the pantry off the kitchen. The pantry door was invitingly cracked open a smidge. No one else was in the kitchen as Fili looked around making a decision he wished he hadn’t when he chose to peek inside. 

All these years he thought his mother and Dwalin were just good friends, but apparently not anymore. They were obviously much more than good friends now. The teen hurried away from the kitchen and ran up the stairs to find Frerin in the sitting room hoping to forget what he just saw.

Frerin and Thorin as well as all the other male family members were gathered around when Fili entered the room. “Dwalin was busy. What’s going on?” 

Some of the men stepped aside to reveal a plush chair sitting in the middle of the room. Thorin patted the chair playfully. “Come here and have a seat, Fili. We have a little surprise for you!”

Frerin threw an arm around his nephew and walked him over to the chair. “You see, everyone one of us, when we turned eighteen got this special surprise, and now it’s your turn…Take your shirt off.”

“Wha-what surprise? Why do I need to take my shirt off?” Fili was a bit concerned until some music started playing.

“Have fun, but remember to keep your hands to yourself.” Frerin lifted Fili’s shirt off for him, turned him around giving him a little shove to sit on the sapphire blue velvet chair the blond fell back looking around at all the other men holding their drinks laughing at the unsuspecting teen.

A very sexy platinum blond haired woman wearing only a hot pink thong and a shear white crop top made her way past the men heading straight for Fili sitting wide-eyed in chair completely shocked. At first he was embarrassed when the petite little blond ripped off her tiny shirt exposing her nipple-pierced breasts as she climbed onto the chair to straddle him splaying her fingers across the teen's broad bare chest. 

“Oh fuck…” Fili swallowed thickly looking up at the crystal blue eyes giving him lustful looks licking her thick glossy pink lips as she rocked her hips grinding down on his increasingly hard cock to the thumping beat of the loud music. _‘So this is why Kili wasn’t invited!’_

~`~

Outside, Kili realized he had been away from Ori and Fili for some time and went back to find them. When he couldn’t find either of them, he began searching around for any of his family. The only family members he could find was Bombur and Gloin’s wives. 

“Oh, Kili don’t worry about your brother!” The ladies teased. They even knew what was going on upstairs, and snickered at the naïve teen. “We’re pretty sure Fili’s having a good time right about now!” 

Kili thought the women may have had too much to drink the way they giggled and carried on like a couple of school girls, so he went on searching the house. When he went upstairs, he heard the music coming from the sitting room, so he eased open one of the double doors open and peeked inside. 

The young teen’s jaw dropped at the sight of buxom little blond female finishing a sexy little display for Fili’s eyes just before sliding her pink thong off and remounting his brother to grind on him some more. What made this worse for Kili was the goofy smile and lustful look on Fili’s face. It was that same look he gave him right before they would become intimate with one another. Fili was actually _enjoying_ this! 

Readily shutting the door, Kili ran outside to get some air. He thought he was alone until someone startled him with a slight touch to his arm. He spun around locking eyes with his eldest uncle.

“Thorin! You scared me.” 

“Are you alright?”

Kili tried to hide his anger calming his tone. “I’m fine, why?” 

“I saw you upstairs.” Thorin tipped his head in question. “Were you jealous?”

“Why? I wouldn’t want that girl all over me like that!” He spat, hoping Thorin would remember that when he turned eighteen.

“I didn’t mean the girl…” Thorin gave Kili a look waiting for an honest reply. “I’ve noticed how clingy you’ve been with Fili for quite some time now, and that’s not as obvious as the fact Fili doesn’t seem to mind it like he used to when you were younger.” 

Kili knew what his uncle was getting at, but he wasn’t ready to give up his and Fili’s secret to their family just yet. “Since we started target practice together, and working together around the house, we’ve bonded over the past year. That’s all.”

Thorin wasn’t buying it, but let it go. “I see. Well, he’ll be looking for you soon I’m sure.” 

~`~

When his birthday surprise was over, Fili received a text from Thorin letting him know Kili saw enough of the lap dance to be upset. He knew he had to find Kili, and explain. He stopped by the bar and ordered a couple drinks. 

Nori had gone with him to order a drink of his own. “Two drinks? You better slow down or you won’t remember your party!” 

“I’m pretty sure I’ll never forget this party, Nori!” The birthday boy and his cousin laughed. “No, one of these shots is for Kili, if I can find him.” 

“Kili’s going to miss you when you’re gone.” Nori commented.

“What do you mean, _gone?_ ” Instantly Fili’s smile disappeared.

Nori stuttered realizing Fili hadn’t spoken in private with Thorin yet. “Uh, you know, because you’re growing up and someday you’re going to be moving out and all.”

“I have no intention of leaving Mom and Kili for many years.” Nori seemed to know something he did not as he studied the way his cousin turned away all flustered taking a drink from the glass held. As he looked away from Nori, he saw Kili standing in the doorway watching him. “There's Kili. I gotta go, I’ll talk to ya later, Nori.”

"Fili, how could you?" Kili was confused and angry. He didn't understand the lap dance wasn't just for Fili, but meant for all the Durin male guest's enjoyment. 

With a smirk, Fili walked up to Kili and handed him one of the shot glasses. “Here. Drink this.” 

Kili hesitantly took the glass and sniffed it. Raising in eyebrow he stated, “It’s got alcohol in it.”

“It _is_ alcohol. Shut up and drink it.” Fili threw back his shot and sat the glass on a table waiting for Kili to down his.

“I don’t know, Fee…” Kili started to hand the glass back to his brother, but Fili took him by the hand and pulled him into one of the bedrooms down the hall and closed the door behind them. 

"Drink it." Fili helped Kili lift the glass to his lips watching his little brother taste alcohol for the first time aroused him as he waited for the reaction. 

As the liquid slid down his throat, it stung bringing tears to his eyes. The young teen sputtered and his brow furrowed. “It burns Fee!”

“Hmm, then let me kiss it and make it all better.” Fili took his glass to sit it down. Taking Kili’s face into his hands, he flicked his tongue across his brother’s moist lips licking the alcohol away before slipping his tongue into his mouth sharing the taste of the sweet whiskey they shared.

Sliding his hands under Kili's shirt, the blond rubbed tiny circles across his lower back pulling their bodies closer together. “Kili, I love you. Don’t ever think I’d want to fuck anybody but you. I’m waiting for you to be of age. When that time comes, I want to make love to you and I’ll make sure we make it memorable, alright? Until then, you have nothing to worry about.”

Feeling like gelatin now with the alcohol coursing through his veins, Kili melted at his brother’s touch. He lightly brushed his cheek across Fili's jaw to feel the slight scratch of his short beard, as he said in a hushed tone, “Make love to me now, Fili.” He tried to lead Fili to the bed, but his plan was nixed immediately when the blond stood his ground and physically couldn’t be moved from where he stood.

“No, Kee. I mean it. You’re too young.” Fili’s mischievious little smirk warned his brother he had something else in mind though. “But there is one thing we haven’t done yet that would be alright to do until then.”

Leaning against the bed, Kili eagerly unzipped his jeans. “I know what you mean, and I want it. More than anything right now…” 

Just as Fili got down on his knees before him, the door opened. They both gasped as Fili stood again quickly standing in front of Kili to hide him from the intruder.

Frerin cleared his throat and made a gesture to Fili asking him to follow him shaking his head at Kili. Out of the room they walked down the long hallway toward Thorin’s home office. “What was that all about in there?”

Fili could feel the sweat breaking out of every pore. “I uh, we…nothing…”

Frerin stopped walking and pushed Fili against the wall pointing a finger in his face. “I’m not stupid. Leave Kili alone, he’s still a child. Do you understand me?” Fili nodded vehemently. “Good. Come with me. Thorin wants to speak with you.”

After entering Thorin’s office, Frerin shut the door behind them before he and Fili took a seat in front of Thorin’s long sleek black contemporary desk. Fili relaxed when Thorin smiled at him.

“Have you enjoyed your party so far?”

“Yes. Thank you both.” Fili gave a nod to Frerin knowing the party was also a gift from him.

“Good, good! I have one more surprise for you. I assume your mother hasn’t said anything to you yet?”

“No, she hasn’t told me anything.” He couldn’t believe his mother could keep a secret.

“Starting next week, you’re moving to Dale to work at our casino as a croupier.”

“What’s that?

“You will be a dealer. I'll start you at the blackjack tables until you're well seasoned. I didn't think how intelligent you are you would want a job as a janitor or concession stand worker. I felt it was best to get you into the business as soon as you turned eighteen. Learn the business from the ground up, but we still expect you to go to college. We've already paid for you to go here in Dale.” Thorin opened a bottle of whiskey and poured the three of them a drink.

"We'll teach you everything you need to know about gambling, Fee." Frerin picked up a glass and handed one to Fili. 

Thorin raised his glass to them to celebrate this moment. “May our future generations continue to prosper in our family business!” 

Fili’s head was already spinning from the shot he had done earlier, and with this new revelation of his future already planned for him, he felt sick. This wasn’t what he wanted for himself, or Kili. 

Their glasses clinked together and the alcohol was drunk. Thorin slammed his glass down and stood, going around the desk to lift Fili to his feet, he gave him a big hug. “Fili my boy, I’m so proud of you the way you’ve taken care of my sister and your little brother since your father passed on. Your honor and loyalty to your family is quite commendable! I’m certain you will have much success in the future running our casino someday!”

Despite how he felt, Fili knew he would have no say in the matter. His life was already planned most likely before he was even born. It was his duty, his destiny to someday run the casino as his family had for centuries.

Fili walked down the long hallway in an alcohol induced haze searching for Kili. He needed his little brother more than ever right now. _‘How am I going to tell him I have to move away?’_

Turning into the game room where he thought he would find Kili, he found his mother and Dwalin wrapped in each other’s arms once again. As he stopped to stand in front of them to get their attention, Dis pulled away from Dwalin when she saw him. “Fili! We uh, this isn’t…”

Fili took a deep breath and exhaled shaking his head. “It’s alright, Mom. You deserve to be happy with someone…” Shifting his eyes toward Dwalin, he continued. “and if you’re going to be with anyone, I’m glad it’s you Dwalin.”

“Thank you. Fili, I want you to know how much I love and respect your mother. I promise to always take care of her.” He was sincere for it mattered to Dwalin how Fili felt about him, and he was relieved to know Fili was alright with him and Dis being together. 

“I appreciate that.” The drunk teen started to sway a little and grinned like an idiot. “Do you love him, Mom?”

“I do.” Dis cooed with a big smile looking up at the massive man smiling back at her who had his arms draped lovingly about her waist. “He makes me very happy, Fee. I’m glad you approve.”

“I’ll feel better leaving for Dale knowing Dwalin will be around to take care of you and Kili when I’m gone.” Fili suddenly felt a chill behind him as he saw the look on his mother’s face looking past him.

Looking behind him, Fili saw the distraught look on Kili’s face and it broke his heart. “Kili…I-I have something I need to tell you…”


	4. Have We Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili goes home to surprise Kili, and when he returns to work, meets someone he wasn't expecting.

They gave him a brand new car, and moved him comfortably into his own space of their mansion. Frerin and Thorin enjoyed having their eldest nephew living and working with them. It had been almost a year and a half since Fili left for Dale. 

Thorin kept Fili very busy as did his classes, but he found time to fly home whenever he could get away. He enjoyed his new job, but felt a void inside coming home alone and going to an empty bed every night. He hoped between work and his college classes, something would help fill that void, but so far it hadn’t.

Kili missed Fili just as much, if not more. They would text and video chat as often as they could, but the distance between them made them miserable. Dis worried about Kili. He wasn’t paying attention in school and became withdrawn. Even shutting out some of his best friends.

Dwalin spoke with Thorin and arranged to let Fili make a surprise visit with Kili to cheer up the boy. Dis waited on the front porch of their modest home in the woods watching for Dwalin to return from the airport with Fili. 

The minute she saw his car driving up their gravel driveway, she called for Kili to come outside. “Kili! We have a visitor! Come on out here!”

Kili grumbled, tossing his gaming remote on the floor and trudged out to the front porch. “Who is it, Ma?” Stepping out onto the porch, Kili couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Fili getting out of Dwalin’s car. “Fili!” He jumped off the steps and ran into his brother’s open arms almost knocking him over on impact.

Fili dropped his bag accepting Kili into his arms. “Kee! I missed you so much!” Locking themselves in a sloppy passionate kiss with hands roaming everywhere looking like dogs in heat, they forgot the world around them, and the fact Dwalin and their mother was watching.

“Boys!” Dis looked at Dwalin completely flabbergasted. “What on earth?”

Their eyes flew opened looking at each other like scared rabbits as they parted realizing what they had done. Kili defended themselves. “We just really missed each other, Ma!”

Fili played along. “Yeah, we just got carried away!” 

Dwalin shook his head. “I’d say so! I miss my brother too, but I’d never kiss him like that!” As he walked toward the back of the car to get Fili’s other bags he mumbled some more. “You kids, I don’t know what to think about this new generation…”

~`~

After dinner, Fili found his mother in her room standing by her jewelry box. “What are you doing?”

Dis startled snapping the ring box she held closed and placed it inside the jewelry box. “I was…just looking at my wedding rings…something strange has been happening since Dwalin moved in.”

“Oh, what’s that?” Fili took a few more steps into her bedroom.

Dis snorted a laugh at herself. “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but…I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found my ring box sitting open inside this jewelry box.”

A chill shivered up Fili’s spine as he gasped. “It’s Dad.”

Dis wanted more than anything to be believed that to be true, but thought it silly. “Oh, Fili…” 

“No, Ma…I’m serious. He’s never left us, you know. I think he’s trying to ask you not to forget about him since Dwalin’s living here.” Dis could see how serious Fili was in believing his father’s spirit was with them.

“Well, if you’re still here in this room right now Vili, I want you to know I’ll always love you, and you’ll be in my heart forever.” It made Dis feel better expressing her feelings out loud, and it made Fili feel good knowing she wasn’t going to belittle him for believing in spirits. She smiled giving him a side-hug and a little peck on the head. “Thank you, Fee. I needed that.”

Fili looked inside her jewelry box that held very little jewelry at all. For a woman of wealth, no one would ever know the vast amount of money she owned by her small jewelry collection that only consisted of a few items that were set with true precious gems. 

“What is this mess?” He laughed as he opened the glass door of the jewelry box and picked up a necklace made of acorns and plastic beads. 

Dis took the fragile looking necklace from her son and put it right back where it had been inside the box. “That was a gift from Kili when he was about five. He made it with the help of your father, and was very proud of it. I cherish that mess, so don’t make fun!”

After Dis shooed Fili from her room, he joined Kili in the bed they used to share. It was just as soft and cozy as he remembered snuggling in under the blankets. “You don’t know how much I miss this bed!”

“What about me? Don’t you miss being in this bed with me?” Kili pouted.

“Of course I miss you!” Fili pulled his little brother close against himself to feel the warmth of his skin giving him a sweet kiss resting their foreheads together. “I miss you very much.”

Kili averted his eyes as he asked. “Fee, I know the past few times you came home, I asked you if you would…maybe…you know…give me a blowjob, and you always tell me no…so I’m asking again, will you?”

Fili felt the blood rushing to his groin at the thought, but he would restrain himself. “No. I’m sorry, Kee. We shouldn’t do that.”

“Don’t you love me like that anymore Fili? Have you found someone else in Dale?” Kili worried daily about losing Fili to someone at college. 

“Of course I love you, and no, I haven’t found someone else! You have to understand you’re too young for us to be having any kind of sex together.” _'Not to mention Uncle Frerin would kill me if I touch you again before you're eighteen!'_

“I’m almost seventeen!” Kili protested. 

Fili sighed. He was tired of having this battle every time they got together. “To be honest, we are brothers and shouldn’t be having any kind of sex period! I can’t explain why we’re so drawn to each other this way, but we are, and I’m trying to protect your innocence as much as I can, so please don’t tempt me, Kee.” 

Fili sifted his fingers through his brother’s unruly long raven hair. Not that he didn’t like Kili’s natural dark brown hair. In fact, he loved his hair, but he was especially fond of how he looked now with his freshly dyed black hair lying against his pale skin.

Out of nowhere, Fili had a strange urge. “Can I…braid your hair?”

“Is that some kind of kinky thing they do in Dale?” Raising an eyebrow, Kili wondered where that idea came from.

Fili laughed taking some of Kili’s hair along the side of his face and entwined the fine strands like a pro in no time. “I have no idea why I even thought of it, but I suddenly wanted to do it.” Finishing the long braid, he studied his handiwork. “Wow...I’m pretty good at this!”

Kili fingered the braid pulling it in front of his face, it slowly began to fall apart. “I like it. Do it again in the morning and tie it. I’ll keep a braid in my hair at all times to remind me of you while you’re away.” Fili loved the idea and decided he wanted a braid from Kili as well. It would be their silent visual bond.

~`~

In the morning, the boys gave one another a braid tying them off with string until they found something much better. Sitting down for breakfast, Dis noticed the braided strands. Not wanting to make a fuss over it, she said nothing discreetly slipping her fingers into her hair to touch a braid she had tucked beneath her own long dark wavy tresses. 

The boys helped clear the table when they were all finished. Dwalin suggested they go spend what little bit of time they had left together to do something before he took Fili back to the airport while he helped Dis finish cleaning up the kitchen. They chose to go out back for some target practice. 

Fili continued to be amazed at the accuracy Kili had at hitting his target. "I think you should go for being a policeman after you graduate, Kee. They could use you on the swat team!" 

"Or a hitman..." The icy tone Kili used caused Fili to lower his gun, and watch his brother fire a few more rounds dead center of his target. "I intend to find the bastard that killed Dad."

"That's not funny, Kili. How'd you know about that?" Fili was extremely concerned now. He had never seen Kili seem so dark and cold hearted. He was the one who had always carried the cold hatred in his heart for their father's killer, but he had since let it go. 

Kili smirked. "I got good hearing..." He turned and fired one more shot into the target's head. "and you talk in your sleep..." 

~`~

When Fili returned to work, he had to tie his long fluffy curls back in a ponytail, but he kept a small section of hair braided back around his ear that he would touch from time to time for comfort when he thought about his little brother far away. The special beads they chose for each other was an added touch, and only they knew what the significances of them were.

Standing behind the blackjack table, Fili flipped another card for the male gambler seated before him. When the card dealt gave the man blackjack, he whooped and handed Fili a couple hundred dollars as a tip. “Keep it up and I’ll be buying you breakfast, sweetheart!”

Fili grinned politely, secretly wanting to gag. _‘You have no idea who I am buddy, and you most certainly are not buying me breakfast!’_ He was about to deal his flirty loyal patron more cards when another gentleman strode up to the table. The man didn’t sit, he just stared at Fili’s name tag before he spoke.

“Thorin’s protégé…hmm…I thought you’d be…taller…” His voice rumbled deep, but eerily smooth and menacing. 

“Excuse me, do I know you?” Fili asked, feeling uneasy by the man’s tone and demeanor.

Giving him a wicked look, the tall dashing man laughed at him. “Oh, we’ve never met, but I’m sure you know who I am, Fili.” The impeccably dressed man reached into his pocket to pull out a gold business card, and handed it to the nervous young dealer. “Tell your uncle Thorin, Smaug dropped by to meet his heir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this story has become a slow build, sooo not what I intended per my short attention span :(  
> Thank you readers and I appreciate the kudos! Comments are welcome!


	5. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili realizes how serious Smaug is about collecting what Thorin owes him.

“Tell your uncle, his time is running out. It has been almost nine years, and I believe ten years is more than enough time to make good on the bet we made so long ago. This is a gambling town, and all bets are final. Payment will be made one way or another.” The tried to make his statement clear as possible sizing up the young Durin. 

The gambling patron seated at Fili's table decided it was time to move on as he readily gathered his things and vacated his chair without a word. 

“Payment was already made with my father’s blood!” Fili hissed as he lost his temper speaking without thinking, looking around to make sure no one heard him besides Smaug. 

Smaug was taken aback by the teen’s audacity to accuse him of such wrongdoing. “Your father’s death doesn’t pay off Thorin’s debt! My hands are clean of that deed…ask the detectives that investigated me.”

“Sorry. It’s what I’ve been raised to believe by my family.” Fili turned a little giving the man a wary side-look. 

“Flattering at best. There is a much higher power than I at work here, and the end of your family’s empire is near. Your family is a pathetic bunch of losers, liars and cheaters. The greed of your kin will do you all in.” Smaug turned to leave looking back only for a moment to warn Fili. “Mind yourself if you don’t want to end up like the rest of them.” 

~`~

Frerin, Fili and Glóin flinched when Thorin slammed his fist into his desk, and bellowed. “How did Smaug even get into our casino Glóin? Was your security people sleeping? 

“It was truly an oversight, Thorin. I’ll speak with my people to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Gloin took a step back when Thorin literally growled at him.

“It will not happen again! If that cretin thinks he can slither in here and harass my nephew, he’s sorely mistaken!” 

Frerin swallowed hard, speaking with some apprehension. “Thorin…maybe you should negotiate a deal with him.”

Thorin chuckled at his brother's suggestion, then shouted at the him. “I don’t negotiate with cold blooded reptiles, Frerin! This is _our_ casino, regardless of what bet we made almost ten years ago, I will not hand over our family business like a poker chip! Smaug and I had no witnesses when that bet was made, it was all his word against mine when all was said and done.”

That was the first Fili had ever heard of that minor detail. He never knew there were no witnesses to Thorin and Smaug's bet and game play. “Make a deal with Smaug to make the bet again sober with witnesses, and play again to end this once and for all.”

Fili looked at Glóin and Frerin hoping for some support. Frerin was afraid to speak again, but agreed with his nephew. "Maybe Fili's right. Maybe you should play again with witnesses to make it just."

Thorin got in Frerin's face and spat. “I will never bet this casino to anyone! It is ours, and I will not allow anyone to take it from us!”

"You won't even attempt to make this right, will you?" Frerin was furious as he headed for the door. "This casino means more to you than our lives!" 

~`~

In Fili’s defense, he didn’t grow up in a lavish wealthy lifestyle, and didn’t value money as Thorin did. He didn't understand the endless wealth his family controlled by owning the casino, nor did he care other than it had been drilled into him he was the heir to their family fortune. More than anything, he looked up to and was proud of his mother how she shied away from their wealth to live a humble modest life in the mountain woods far away from the gambling town, though she did so out of fear and the safety of her young sons. 

Fili called his mother on video chat to tell her, and warn her of what had transpired that day. Dis was appreciative of the warning, but wasn’t as rattled about the news that she suspected may come back around someday though she hoped had been forgotten due to the mention of tens years. They still had time to prepare or for Thorin to make things right. 

“Know this, Fili…our world is an underworld full of greed where money is concerned, and when some illegal gambling is held and debts are not paid, lives are taken for payment until someone gets what they are owed.” Dis wasn’t going to sugarcoat it. Fili would take over the family business someday, and needed to know the awful, honest truth.

“Has anyone in our family ever…” Closing his eyes as he asked, Fili didn’t want to believe any of this even existed. This was crap only written about it books and seen in movies, not his family. 

“Distant relatives. None you know today, if that makes you feel better.” Dis couldn't even recall their names. 

Relieved, the teen could accept that. 

“We haven’t had a need to be violent with anyone, but we need to be ready, just in case. ” Dis looked away as she continued not wanting to see her son's reaction. “Frerin is training Kili.”

“What? You’re okay with this?” Fili couldn’t believe what his mother was saying.

“Fili, we need to be able protect ourselves. You’ve trained to fight. You’re a black belt, you can shoot every firearm Frerin handed you. I can’t believe you’re turning pacifist now.”

“I just don’t want to think about Kili being put in danger in any way. I’ll fight if we have to, but…”

“Kili’s growing up, and he’s stronger than you think he is.”

Fili thought about the aggressive way Kili fired his gun, and the darkness of his tone just the other day at home before he left with his comment about being a hitman. “Yes…I know he is.” A part of Fili wanted to fly home, gather his little brother and run away somewhere to start a normal life together away from all this madness.

“Kili will be joining you in Dale in less than two years. He will be fully trained and capable of defending any of us, but Fili...” Dis wasn't unconcerned about her youngest son. "I'll still sleep better at night knowing you'll always watch over him. Will you promise me that?" 

"That goes without saying, Mom." Fili's number one priority in life had and would always be to watch over his little brother the best he could. 

~`~

Over the next year and a half, Kili began studying hard, and prepared himself for college. He knew he would follow in Fili's footsteps to begin working at the casino as well, but wanted to learn computer engineering. 

“Kili’s eighteenth birthday is coming up fast! I can’t wait for another party!” Ori reminded the one that didn’t need reminding. “Are you planning anything special for him?”

Fili grinned thinking about it. “Yes. I’m going to fly us to Rivendell for a peaceful get away. I need to get out of the city for a while anyway.”

Kili had graduated early, and the more he thought about taking Kili to Rivendell, the more he thought remaining there forever wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Only two weeks away from his birthday, Kili made a surprise announcement to his uncle’s. He was refusing a party. It was not what he wanted for himself, especially when Fili told him what he had planned for them. A quiet get away to Rivendell with the love of his life was all the gift the eighteen-year-old wanted or needed.

Their flight to Rivendell was the first time Kili had been on a plane. "Oww, can you please not break my hand, Kee?" 

"Sorry! I'm just nervous." Fili grimaced trying to shake feeling back into his hand after Kili released his grip. 

"It's okay. Don't worry, we'll be there in no time." After a couple hours, their plane was about to land, and Kili was squeezing his brother's hand once again. Fili pointed out the window to distract Kili's thoughts about landing. "Kili, look down there...it's Rivendell!" 

Kili leaned over his brother to look out over the gorgeous tranquil city below. "It's beautiful!" 

Being so close, Fili's beard brushed across Kili's cheek to whisper in his ear. "Not as beautiful as you." 

The raven hair teen turned just enough to steal a kiss. "I can't wait to get to our room. I've waited so long for this day, Fee." 

Their hotel room door had barely been shut and locked before Kili pounced on Fili shoving him onto the bed. It was possible buttons were ripped off, and zippers were broken in haste as the two tore at one another's clothing managing to keep their lips locked in the process of disrobing. 

"Mmmphh...oh, Kili...look at how strong you've grown!" Fili's hand grazed over his not-so-little anymore brother's biceps and chest running fingertips down his tight abs only to take his manhood into his fist.

Kili mirrored his brother's actions, and leaned down for a sensual kiss. "You promised me, Fee...I'm eighteen now..." 

He didn't have ask, Fili rolled his lover over to lie heavily upon him. His sky blue eyes turned dark with lust. "And I'm ready to keep my promise...I want to make love to you, Kili." 

With every delicate or burning touch, with every sweet or filthy sound, the scent and taste of one another brought them to the stars and back. Nothing could compare the feeling of ecstasy they both experienced bringing themselves to climax this way for the first time together. Wrapped in Fili's strong arms snuggled , Kili couldn't imagine being anywhere else to ever feel this much comfort, so complete, so loved. Their love was undying and forever. 

"I love you, Fili. I worried so much over the past three years you'd find someone else to fall in love with. Don't ever leave me..." Kili's fingers smoothed over the braid Fili wore over his ear. 

"Never. I love you too much to ever think about leaving you, Kee. Not even in death...can you promise me you'll never leave me?" 

"I'll never leave you either, Fee." 

"Not even in death?" Fili knew how Kili felt about death.

Looking into his brother's sky blue eyes, Kili hesitated, but knew it was what his brother needed to hear. "I promise I'll never leave you. Not even in death..." 

~`~

Fili moved out of Thorin and Frerin's mansion to live in an apartment in town with Kili. It was close to the casino, and they were able to drive to college together. For days in between classes, Fili had the strange sense, someone was watching him. Kili thought his brother was being paranoid, but made sure he kept in contact with him continuously throughout the day when they were apart. 

As the Durin brothers walked to their car, someone stepped out of the car not far from them and got their attention. Fili's heart began to race as his eyes shift to Kili's hand sliding into his back pocket. 

"Can I help you?" Fili spoke to slow any incident that was possibly about to occur, then he recognized the man walking toward them. "Smaug." 

Kili almost broke his neck turning to look wide-eyed at Fili. "Smaug?" 

"Fili. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting the youngest Durin yet." Smaug waited for an introduction as if it mattered. 

Reluctantly Fili proceeded to introduce the men. "Kili, this is Smaug. He is the owner of the Red Dragon Casino and Hotel a little further down the strip from ours. Smaug, this is my brother, Kili."

Kili frowned. He already knew who the man was by name, and didn't care to meet him face-to-face. Fili gave his brother a warning look and a slight shake of the head feeling relief when Kili removed his hand from his back pocket. "What do you want? Why are you here at our college?" 

"I want to make a bet with you." The man stated with a slight grin. 

"Why would I want to gamble anything with you, Smaug?" Feeling rather cocky, Fili smirked.

"Thorin's time is up. This bet will be between you and me. I'll even make it fair. Since blackjack is the game I know you're extremely versed in, that will be the game of choice...you win, I'll leave Thorin alone and let his debt slide...I win, and you will make Thorin hand over his casino..." 

"And if I don't?" Standing his ground, the casino heir refused to let Smaug see how shaken he was inside.

Nothing short of evil, Smaug replied, "You'll regret it." 

Smaug bowed his head handing Fili another gold business card as he did the first time he met him before he drove away in his red Lamborghini. 

Kili relaxed seeing the car drive away. Fili took his brother's face into his hands and gave him a languid kiss letting one of his hands travel down and around to Kili's backside to graze over his back pocket. "I wanted to kill him, Fee." Kili breathed into his brother's mouth. 

"Fuck that was hot.." Fili's teeth clamped down on Kili's bottom lip as Kili's hands slid around to Fili's backside pulling their groins tighter together. With heavy breaths, Fili also breathed into his brother's mouth in between kisses. "I know you wanted to kill him, Kee, but he's not the one I'm worried about. I can feel there is someone still watching us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are welcome!


	6. One Dear To Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin's time has run out and Smaug has a new plan to get what he wants.

“We’re out in the open in a public place. You can’t just shoot someone, Kee.” Fili felt his brother’s body trembling as his breathing began to slow.

“I’m sorry, Fee. That was the first time I ever felt threatened. Who do you think could still be watching us?’ The two continued to hold onto one another as Kili pushed Fili against their car trailing kisses down his neck.

Fili hissed when his lover bit down on his skin. “Mom…told me once about Smaug’s hitman they believe killed Dad…I always feel like I'm being watched. We need to get out of here.”

“Fine. I’m ready to get you home anyway. I'm sure if someone is watching, they’re not looking to kill us today. They’re observing us.” Kili backed off and opened the car door for his brother to get inside. 

When they arrived home to their apartment in the city, their neighbor, Bard said hello as he passed them on his way out. As they reached the top of the stairs, they were greeted by a new neighbor that had just moved in across the hall from their place. 

She was a tall young woman with long auburn hair. Holding hands, Fili and Kili immediately released their fingers from being entwined when they realized the young woman had taken notice. 

“Hi. I’m Tauriel. I just moved in.” Curiously she eyed the mark on Fili’s neck before exchanging looks with the adorable younger raven haired man smiling at her trying to figure out their relationship. 

“Hi…” Kili suddenly seemed to forget all about Fili standing next to him. “I’m Kili. Nice to meet you.”

Fili gave his brother a disgusted jealous look as he snorted shaking his head. “I’m his brother, Fili.” He took Kili by the hand again and pulled him along to their door. “We have important business to take care of, if you’ll excuse us.”

“Certainly. Maybe I’ll see you later…Kili?” Their eyes seemed glued to one another much to Fili’s dismay.

Once inside their apartment, still holding his hand Fili flung Kili in front of him. “What was that all about?”

“I, uh, nothing. I was just being neighborly.” Kili felt heat rising in his cheeks.

Fili was angry and snapped at his brother. “Right. I always drool over my new neighbors.”

“If I remember right, you were practically drooling over Bard when we moved here!” Kili shot back remembering his own jealousy.

“Was not!” Fili shook his head trying to forget the whole thing. “Never mind. We need to figure out what we’re going to do about Smaug. What do you think? Should I take his offer?”

Kili mulled it over thinking of the possible outcome. “Well, you are an expert in blackjack so you would have a slight chance of winning.”

“What are you trying to say? That I couldn’t beat him? Slight chance…” The ex-dealer felt dissed. 

“No! I just meant, he’s been gambling much longer than you have. I don’t think you would have an advantage over him. Your expertise would only make the game even.” With one hand on his hip, Kili walked around in circles trying to stay calm over their situation. “I think you should talk to Frerin.”

“Agreed. I don’t want to say anything to Thorin.” 

Within an hour, Frerin joined the brothers at a restaurant down the street from their apartment. Sitting in a corner booth, they made sure to keep their conversation private.

“Fee, I don’t want you putting yourself or the rest of us in danger. I don’t like the feel of this. I’ll talk to Thorin again. Maybe I can talk him into your idea of the two of them playing again with witnesses.”

“I want to do this, Frerin. I know I can win. You can go with Kili and I as our witness.” Fili tried hard to encourage Frerin to be onboard with this deal Smaug had offered. 

“No. I won’t, and I don’t want you having any more contact with Smaug.” The older blond felt strongly about what he believed. 

“Frerin, I…”

“No, Fili! I’m ordering you to stay away from him. He’s trying to pull you into this and use you against Thorin. This isn’t your fight.” Frerin was getting agitated with his elder nephew as his fist hit the table shaking the glasses. 

“Yes, it is!”

Frerin sighed deeply looking at his younger nephew with hope. “Do you understand how dangerous this is, Kili?”

“Yes. Fee, Frerin’s right. This is between Thorin and Smaug, not you.” Kili believed his uncle was the only one thinking logically about their situation at this point.

"I just want this to end. I’m tired of looking over my shoulder everywhere I go.” Fili relaxed back in his seat feeling defeated.

“I feel the same, but hopefully it’ll be over soon…hopefully Thorin will come to his senses and do the right thing.” Frerin seemed doubtful, but gave the boys one last look of warning. 

~`~

Smaug gave them a week. When he never heard from Thorin or Fili, he was enraged as he spoke to his hitmen. “Thorin’s time has run out.” 

“What do you want us to do?” The older of the two cold blooded killers was ready to proceed with orders.

“I don’t want blood yet. That didn't work last time…Take a hostage…maybe then Thorin will give up. Yes, maybe.” His voice rumbled low.

“Who should we take?” The young man asked. 

An evil grin spread across Smaug's face. “Someone dear to him…a brother or sister perhaps?”

~`~

Dwalin came home from work walking up the dark path to the lit front porch, he thought he heard a rustling along the bushes on the side of the porch.

“Who’s there?” Dwalin’s gruff voice demanded an answer, but when there was no sign of anyone there, he slid the key into the door knob. Entering their home, his heart skipped a beat. 

Very distressed, Dis came running into his arms from the kitchen. “Dwalin! I’m so glad you’re home!” 

Tears streamed down her cheeks as Dwalin held her tight. “What’s going on? What’s wrong Dis?”

“It's Frerin! Someone has taken him hostage! They’re threatening to kill him!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are welcome and encouraged because they sometimes help guide my story development!


	7. Do Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili confronts Thorin and the boys make a decision for him after tragedy strikes.

The Durin's were a close family, but something changed in Thorin years ago after he inherited the casino and hotel. He began to value money and possessions more than anything, and the entire family could see it as time passed. With his brother, Frerin being held hostage everyone believed Thorin would give in to Smaug and give him what he wanted, but he still refused. 

Kili waited patiently for Fili to fall fast asleep in their bed so he could slip out to meet with Thorin alone. He felt it was time to do something, and he wanted to be the one to do it.

“I didn’t want Fili to know I was coming here." Kili unfolded a map he pulled from the back pocket of his jeans to show Thorin all the marks he made on the paper. "I've mapped every vacant building, and every location I thought Frerin could have been taken...I’m ready to get him back.”

Thorin stood behind his desk raising an eyebrow curiously at his youngest nephew, but sobered quickly inhaling sharply at the sight of the gun Kili pulled from under his jacket. “I’ll get Frerin back, and take out the bastards that thought they could use him to get to you, Thorin. It’s that simple.”

“No! I can’t risk you doing such a foolish thing.” Thorin eyed the gun in the teen's hand.

“Isn’t this what Frerin trained me for? I can do this.” He felt hurt as Thorin gave him the impression he didn't believe in him. 

"He trained you for defense. We never thought anyone would be taken hostage.”

“I can do this, Thorin!” The teen felt his blood pressure rising. 

“No, Kili! If something was to go wrong, you and Frerin both could be killed! Forget it! I have to deal with this myself!”

Kili was raging inside. “Haven’t _you_ waited long enough to do something about this!”

“Kili!” Thorin shouted losing patience.

“Your own brother is being used as a pawn in your little game with Smaug, and you’re held up here in your secure little office doing nothing about it!” Kili was exasperated and completely confused by his uncle's decisions.

“I will do something, but I need to think it through!” Thorin had enough of this confrontation.

Giving Thorin a spiteful look, Kili shoved the handgun back into his jacket and went to the office door to leave shouting at him. “Fuck you, Thorin! You’ve had ten years to think about it! Frerin was right! You don’t give a shit about any of us! You're greedy! I never thought you could be this incredibly selfish!”

When the door slammed shut behind his irate nephew, Thorin sighed heavily dropping into his leather desk chair. Picking up his phone he had text messages from every family member. Rubbing a hand over his face he sent a message to Glóin. 

_‘Make sure Kili goes home. Follow him.’_

Following the teen from his car up the sidewalk from the parking garage, Glóin wasn’t as stealth as he tried to be. As Kili was headed for his apartment building door, he called him out. “I know you’re there Glóin! I’m going inside to be with Fili now, if that’s why you’re following me.”

“Thorin sent me. We just want you to be safe, lad.” Glóin bowed his head submissively.

Kili clapped his relative on the shoulder. “I’m fine. Thank you for caring. You may have been following Thorin’s orders, but I know you genuinely care about me. At least someone in the family has a heart.”

Glóin gave a nod. "Aye. I hope Thorin does the right thing so Frerin can be returned to us safe. I know you love your uncle, but I don't want to worry about you too, Kili. Don't you or Fili go off doing anything stupid, do you understand?" Giving his word Kili knew it was a promise he knew he couldn't keep as the two said their good-byes and went their separate ways. 

~`~

As Kili returned to their bed, the stirring of the blankets woke Fili. The blond rolled over lifting the blankets for him to get under. “Hey...where’ve you been?” 

Pulling the blond against himself, Kili didn’t want to say slotting their bodies together. “Out…" Gently raking his long fingers through Fili's light chest hair, he asked. "Fee…you always told me you believed in spirits. Does that make you not afraid to die? You know, the thought there may be another life beyond this one?”

“I’m not afraid to die, but I don’t want to die anytime soon. I love you, and I want to spend a lifetime with you!” As Fili’s thumb grazed over Kili’s lips to part them, he kissed him with much love and desire. "I want you, Kee..."

Gathering Fili’s long golden hair into his hand, twisting his curls around his fingers Kili guided his brother to rollover on top of himself, spreading his legs for him he thrust his hips upward to let Fili feel how much he wanted him. “Make love to me, Fili…I need it…I need you to show me how much you love me…please…” 

~`~

In the morning light, Kili sat on the bed watching his brother sleep. Fili mumbled with an occasional jerk or twitch. Obviously his sleep was troubled. With a light touch, Kili's fingers padded over one of Fili's braids before holding the bead he kissed laying the braid back down gently. "You don't always have to be strong and brave, Fili. I will watch over you as you do me, brother. I love you more than the stars." A veil of calmness seemed to wash over Fili as he slept with his brother's quiet words spoken near his ear. 

With a splash of warm water on his face, Kili rubbed the stubble on his face looking in the mirror he sighed. _'Why doesn't anyone believe in me?'_

As his hand reached out beside him, Fili panicked when he couldn't feel his brother lying next to him. "Kili!" Bolting out of bed, Fili practically ran smack into him dashing out of the bathroom.

"What? What's wrong, Fee?" Looking at his wild-eyed brother, Kili's heart was about to beat out of his chest.

Fili exhaled and tried to catch his breath relieved to see him standing there. "I had a horrible nightmare...it-it felt so _real!_ Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I-I was afraid you were...gone." 

With a snort, Kili smirked at him. "At least you got some sleep, I was awake most of the night." Watching Fili move around him gathering his backpack, Kili's brow furrowed. "What are you doing? I didn't think you had any classes today?" 

Fili didn't realize how closely his brother paid attention to his schedule. "Uh, yeah, I have a project I'm working and need to go in for a little bit to get some help." Heading for the door feeling a little guilty, he turned to give Kili a quick kiss. "I love you, my little raven. I won't be gone long, I promise." 

"I love you too." Kili watched the door close. _'He hasn't called me that in a long time...He's going to try to find Frerin.'_

~`~

Tauriel passed Fili on his way out of their apartment building, so she invited Kili over for late morning coffee. After a half hour or so of pleasant conversation, she felt comfortable with her invitation to stay longer. "Thought I'd make a breakfast casserole if you'd like to stay for brunch?" Opportunities to get Kili alone away from his brother was rare.

Being a little preoccupied with thoughts of Frerin had controlled the teen for days, and felt maybe a little company would lighten his darkened mood. "Sure." 

Helping his lovely new friend prepare some of the ingredients to mix into the casserole, he smiled catching sight of her watching him with a shy grin. "You and your brother seem rather...close." Tauriel never had the chance to truly get to know her neighbor until now."

Knowing very few people including their family members knew about their special relationship, Kili wasn't so sure he wanted to share that information with her just yet. "Yes. We are...extremely close to one another. Closer than most brothers." With a little snort he became shy when she touched his hand taking the bowl of shredded potatoes from him. 

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Tauriel asked with a glint of hope in her eyes. 

"No, but I...I am in a relationship with someone." She was sweet, but Kili knew he had to be honest with Tauriel. She scooped the casserole mixture into a baking dish giving him a dispirited look, as if sad about that bit of information. "I can leave now if you...want me to." 

Quickly she replied, "No, please stay! We're neighbors, I would love for you to be my friend." Her gentle smiled relieved him. He needed a friend right now too. 

~`~

After hours of investigating and searching for Frerin's whereabouts, Fili gave up and went home. Reaching the top of the stairs, Kili was just leaving Tauriel's place. Standing together at her door, her smile faded some as she greeted Fili who didn't seem too thrilled to see her either. 

Fili ignored the situation and went inside their apartment to get a beer from the fridge when he received the call they all had feared. 

Kili walked into the apartment and shut the door. "Why are you so rude to Tauriel?" Instantly he silenced himself seeing the tears on his brother's face. 

"Thanks, Dwalin. We'll stay in touch." Fili ended the phone call and slid his phone into the pocket of his jeans. He just gave Kili a sorrowful look and he knew. 

Tears welled in Kili's dark eyes and a fire lit deep inside. "Frerin?" 

With a nod, Fili confirmed what he thought. "The police found him an hour ago."

Kili went straight into their bedroom pulling clothes out of one of the dresser drawers. Fili followed to see what he was doing. "Kili! No!" 

Pulling out his favorite handgun, Kili tucked it in the band of his jeans covering it with his t-shirt. "Yes, Fili! If Thorin isn't going to do anything about this mess, I will! Come with me...I know you went looking for Frerin today, I'm not stupid. We can do this together, Fili! We have to take out Smaug to end this. You have to believe in me...please!" 

Fili shook with so many emotions flowing through him. Sorrow for Frerin's death, fear for his little brother's reckless idea of becoming a vigilante, and anger at Thorin for doing nothing at all. "It's not that I don't believe in you, Kee..." 

Something inside him snapped. He was a small boy again being told his daddy had died, then his mind raced forward in time. He was thirteen again learning the truth about his father's death. The cold hatred for his father's killer returned to fill his heart. 

"Then I can do this alone..." Kili watched Fili calmly picking up the clothing he had tossed everywhere, folding and putting them back into the dresser drawer before he went to the closet. "What are you doing?" 

Fili threw on a jacket, and pulled out his own gun to show his anxious brother how he really felt. " _Let's do this!_ " 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are welcome!


	8. In Cold Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili are on a mission to kill Smaug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs inspire me - two in particular with this chapter by Chevelle "Take Out The Gunman" and "Face To The Floor"

Sight of the cold steel in Fili’s hand aroused Kili. He threw himself at his brother hooking the back of his neck pulling the blond into a sloppy passionate open mouthed kiss. 

“Oh gods, Fili, I love you even more now!” The younger breathed.

Looking positively feral, Fili’s heart was pounding as he gathered a fist full of Kili’s long hair and jerked his head back. “I swear I’m going to fuck you in that man’s blood!”

“Promise?” Chest heaving, Kili’s lips curled wickedly causing his brother to return the same evil grin. 

~`~

When the car doors slammed shut, and the engine revved, Fili’s dimple grew with his cocky smirk watching Kili attempt to adjust himself inside his jeans. “I promise I’ll take care of that later, Raven.” 

Kili was about to say something smart when he was interrupted by a call from his mother. Dis was concerned about his mental state after Thorin told her about his visit. The last thing she wanted was her baby running off to kill someone in a fit of rage, but then she remember her oldest baby was the one who held a grudge for a much longer period of time. 

_“Kee, let me talk to your brother please.”_ Dis knew they were together. They were always together.

Her voice was so loud Fili could hear her. He shook his head and lit a cigarette. “He’s not here, Mom.”

_“Don’t lie to your mother, Kilian. I know the sound of Fili’s car and I heard his lighter. Give the phone to him now please.”_

Fili exhaled as Kili handed him the phone. “Mom, don’t worry. We’re fine. We got this.”

 _“That’s what I am afraid of, Fili! Whatever you two are thinking of doing, don’t! Go home! Come here! I-I don’t…don’t want anything to happen to either of you…”_ When the sobbing began, Fili tossed the phone back to Kili.

“Calm her down, Kee. I’m too busy driving.” Flicking the ashes of his cigarette out the window, he continued to stare down the road straight ahead focusing on their plan.

~`~

They played the waiting game. Watching and observing for hours they waited for Smaug to leave his massive mansion. Cautiously hanging back, they followed his red Lamborghini all the way across the long bridge to the border of Laketown. 

"Where’s he going?” Kili shifted in his seat with anticipation keeping a keen eye on his target.

Driving slowly trying to find the perfect spot to park keeping a safe unseen distance, Fili finally pulled the car over. “I don’t know. It looks like he’s going down toward the banks.” This was a blessing from Mahal to find the man in such a secluded area and so close to the waters edge.

As the sun was low in the sky, Kili took off his sunglasses trying to get a better look. “This is a shitty part of town. What could he be doing here?” 

“No part of Laketown is nice, Kee. I’m sure he’s got some illegal business going on with someone here.” Those words were barely spoken when they saw him pulling into a garage and go inside the shabby home. "What? I think he might live here! Did you see him park in the that garage by the lake?" 

Kili kept his eyes on the shady man calling out his every move. "Wonder why he would own such a dump...hey...he just came back out. Looks like he's heading down to the banks under the pier." 

As Fili opened his car door, Kili grabbed his arm. “Fee…” There was something in his brother’s eyes that told him he needed a moment of confirmation. “I got your back. You trust and believe in me, right?”

Sitting back down inside the car, Fili reached over to draw his raven haired lover in for one more kiss before they began their quest for blood. “I wouldn’t trust anyone with my life more than you, Kee.”

It was Smaug’s blood they sought. He may not have been the one who took the life of their father and beloved uncle, but he was the one who ordered the murders they were sure of it. 

Fili quickly refocused on the task at hand as he slipped from the car to the side of the rundown old building. Silently sneaking along the side of the building, he began to descend the stairs going down toward the pier leading out to the lake banks. 

Kili found the perfect spot to stay out of sight, and still be able to watching every move Fili made. Smaug was about to head back when he turned in the sand, caught off-guard seeing Fili standing there waiting for him.

“I suppose you’re here to kill me.” The smugness in his tone and look on his face was enough to provoke Fili to want to shoot him on the spot.

“I just want to know why, Smaug…it was just a stupid drunken bet ten years ago!” Fili took a couple more steps toward the man. “Was it really worth Frerin’s life?” Darkness filled his mind and heart. “Was it worth my father’s life?”

“Ask Thorin. I had nothing to do with their murders!” Smaug tried to walk toward him, but was stopped when Fili coldly pulled out his gun and shot him once in the chest.

Smaug instantly stumbled backwards then bent over grabbing his chest gasping for air. “I…told you...there are…higher powers at work here! I’m…just a pawn in this game…as was your uncle...” 

When Fili lost focus pondering what the man stated, Smaug was able to knock the gun from his hand, but the black belt recovered quickly. With a few slick moves, Fili had him locked with his muscular arm wrapped around his neck incredibly hard. Suddenly a silent shot from Kili's gun caught Smaug in the side. 

As Fili loosened his grip, shoving Smaug away another shot hit him in the chest not far from the first shot splattering the blond with blood. The moment became surreal as Fili saw the gun Smaug pulled from his jacket. In one swift move Fili pulled a small knife from his jacket jerking the injured man back his against his chest, he slit his throat.

Blood spewed from Smaug’s neck as Fili let go watching his wretched corpse fall to the ground. Pools of blood began to form around the body slowly soaking into the coarse lake sand. 

Kili ran to the sandy banks to stand by his brother's side staring at the dead man lying before them. It was eerily quiet besides the lake waters lapping the banks washing their victim's blood into the lake. 

“We did it." Kili said flatly. "We killed him.” Fili said without remorse wearing their victim's blood. 

For a moment they felt like cold-blooded killers watching the blood from the gunshot wounds flowing into the sand, but that feeling would rapidly fade.

Smearing the blood on Fili's face, the corners of Kili's lips began to turn slightly upward. "You made me a promise, Fili..."

~`~

After the two spent the entire night cleaning up and taking care of disposing their victim giving him a watery grave in the deep lake, they finally made it home before dawn.

Upon returning home exhausted, they found an envelope sitting at their apartment door. Fili snatched it up and brought it into the kitchen for them to investigate. 

Their eyes locked in fear reading the simple printed message _'Want to bet who's next?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making the boys so dark in this chapter, but that's where their minds are at the moment - they will be sweet again by the end I promise :)  
> Thank you for reading! Comments are welcome!


	9. Endless Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili gets to know Bard a little better than expected - Kili and Fili profess their love for one another to be forever endless, and Fili eavesdrops on a crucial conversation.

Two weeks had passed since Frerin was laid to rest, and Smaug had conveniently disappeared. Day after day the brother’s looked over their shoulders feeling as if someone was watching their every move. Coming and going from home, at college, working at the casino, anywhere they went. It wasn’t due to guilt because they had no conscious of what they had done for they truly believed it was justice. 

Since finding the cryptic message left at their door, they felt threatened. Uncertain who could have left it knowing they had their eyes on Smaug all day the day they killed him. Dis begged her sons to come home, but they refused wanting to continue going to school in Dale and working at the casino. Impetuous youth, Fili and Kili were headstrong and believed they were indestructible. 

Staring at the blank television screen, Fili sighed. Kili had gone to work to cover for someone for the day, and the older brother wasn’t ashamed to admit, he didn’t like being alone. Looking at his phone he began scrolling through names. Everyone he tried to call was either at work or already busy with something.

Taking a leisurely stroll down the apartment stairs to check their mailbox, their neighbor Bard was just coming home and stopped to check his mailbox as well. As Fili flipped through one piece of junk mail after another, he could feel Bard staring at him.

Fili shifted his eyes to look up at the tall brunet standing near him. “Sup?”

“Wanna hang out?” Bard asked.

“Sure.” His tone may have sounded somewhat lackluster, but inside he was excited to finally find someone to hang out with. 

As they started up the stairs, Fili offered, “Kili’s not home if you want to go to our place.”

The neighbors hadn’t really spent much time together in the past, and this was the first time they spent any time alone together. Discussing what movie to watch or what video game to play, they seemed to like a lot of the same things. 

Time slipped by without notice even more so after the new good friends started drinking. Fili handed Bard another bottle and dropped onto the couch next to him.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but Bard couldn’t restrain himself any longer. He had been checking Fili out for hours waiting for the moment he lost inhibitions enough to try and kiss the blond.

With a sharp intake of air, Fili instantly backed away. 

“I’m sorry!” Shocked by his own actions and even more embarrassed by Fili’s reaction, Bard apologized sincerely. “I guess I should’ve asked if you were seeing anyone. Either way, that was uncalled for, I’m really sorry.” 

Shifting in his seat, the brunet quietly asked. “ _Are_ you seeing anyone?”

Fili blushed at the question like he always did when someone asked. “Uh, yeah…I am.”

“I’ve never seen you with anyone, don’t you ever bring her here?”

The blond shook his head and grinned. “He…and yes. He’s here a lot, you probably just never noticed.” _‘If you only knew!’_

“Well, I apologize again, I’m sorry. I find you very attractive.” Their eyes locked and for whatever reason Bard couldn’t help but be drawn in for another chance to kiss Fili, and for whatever reason, Fili didn’t react at all to the kiss until he heard the front door being unlocked.

Straightening in their seats, he and Bard picked up their beer bottle and smiled when Kili walked in. The younger brother smirked at the sight of his brother, his lover being seated so closely to their neighbor.

“What’s going on here?” He asked tossing his jacket on the back of a chair. 

Guilt tongue-tied the blond as he tried to speak. “I, we, uh, we were just…siting here drinking and watching a movie. You want to join us?” Fili’s drunkenness didn’t sit well with Kili when he wasn’t drinking with him. 

“Looks like more than watching a movie to me.” Kili’s eyes shifted to the way Bard’s hand rested on Fili’s knee though the blond didn’t even realize he was being touched until that moment.

In a huff, the younger brother went to their bedroom and slammed the door. Bard gave Fili a quizzical look. “What was that all about?”

“Kili’s, um, overprotective of me.” Pushing himself up from the sofa, Fili went to follow his brother. “I need to check on him…and Bard, you and I are just friends." With a nod, Bard understood. "I had a good time with you today, but I think I’m going to go on bed if you don’t mind.”

Taking the hint, the brunet took his leave as Fili went into the bedroom to smooth things over with Kili. The blond pulled off most of his clothes and tried to lay a hand on Kili’s shoulder only to have him jerk away from his soft touch.

“Kee! What’s wrong?” It hurt to feel Kili pull away from him like that. He needed to touch him.

“I never thought you’d cheat on me, Fili.” Kili's misconception caused his heart to ache.

Those words stung, though he knew he hadn’t done anything wrong, or at least until he allowed Bard to press his lips against his own. “We weren’t doing anything, Kili. Seriously, we had been together almost all day drinking, watching movies and playing video games. I'd never cheat on you.”

Kili turned over to face his brother, sliding his fingers into Fili’s long curls. “I’ve never wanted anyone but you, Fili…I couldn’t imagine being with anyone but you!”

Fili wiped tears from Kili’s wet cheeks. “And I swear I would never want to be with anyone but you, Kili. You’re my everything! We may be tempted by others, but we know in our hearts we belong together. Nothing or no one will ever tear us apart, Kee!”

Kili’s tears flowed more freely leaning in for Fili to catch his lips tasting his brother's tears. He quietly sobbed letting Fili embrace him, holding him close against his warm skin.

Their sweet salty kisses became more heated and needy. “Fee…can I make love to you? I want you...I want to feel myself inside you. I want give myself to you.”

“You already have, Kee, and I am yours…forever.” Fili allowed Kili to make love to him for the first time, strengthening their bond with one another. 

Lying in the afterglow, being sweetly kissed and held in Fili's strong loving arms, Kili asked for affirmation. "You and me forever, Fee?" 

Relaxed and satisfied feeling all was right with the world, pressing a kiss against Kili's brow, Fili smiled contently. “Forever in endless love for one another, I couldn’t imagine it any other way, brother…” 

~`~

The next day after Fili left class just after noon, he stopped by his favorite local Italian restaurant for lunch. He was seated in his usual spot. A wooden booth near the back corner of the small establishment. It seemed like a good spot to quietly study a little bit before heading home.

Being a regular customer, the waitress greeted him by name asking what she could get for him. As she walked away, Fili checked his phone finding it odd he hadn't receive any messages from Kili considering how long he had actually been gone this afternoon, so he texted him to let him know where he was and that he would be home soon if he wanted to do anything together later on. 

The waitress brought Fili's drink, then stopped to check on the two men who had just been seated in the booth behind him. They ordered a couple of beers and sandwiches. Even though the men were speaking in a hushed quiet tone, Fili overheard enough of their conversation to cause him to lean back against the tall wood separating them straining to hear more. 

"When are we doing it?" The younger man said a little too loudly for the other's liking. 

"Shh! Keep it down!" The older of the two reprimanded the younger. "Soon. I don’t care if our boss is MIA…we’re carrying out orders as we were told." 

"What about the woman? What was her name again?" The young one asked with a devilish excitement. 

"He said her name is, Dis. We can hunt her down later...apparently she lives with one of their distant cousins somewhere in the Blue Mountains." With a gasp, Fili's head was spinning. It was obvious who these men were now. 

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt sick. When the waitress arrived at his table with a tray of food, Fili about jumped out of his skin. "Oh, shit! I'm sorry, you startled me!" 

The waitress just giggled. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you!" She placed the plates on the table. "Is there anything else I can get for you?" 

The blond shook his head and thanked his waitress handing her more than enough money to pay his tab knowing he may have to leave at any given moment. Looking at all the food laid before him, the thought of taking even one bite made him feel as if he could retch as his stomach twisted and turned realizing he was sitting mere inches away from the men who were most likely the ones who killed Frerin, and now seemingly plotting the murder of his other uncle _and_ his mother. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!
> 
> Either Fili or Kili will die in the next chapter - I already know which one I have in mind, but I'm curious to see if anyone would like to give their opinion on which one they think would make the best spirit or the one living with the spirit.  
> With this chapter complete, I now have the story set up so it could be either one with the same end results.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments are welcome!


	10. Last Mortal Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title says it all.

The minute the two men left their table, Fili tailed them at a safe distance keeping them in eyesight. The thought occurred to him he should call Kili, but time was of the essence. With a gun hidden under the seat of his car, he was ready to take out these two on his own.

Hanging back in traffic, he followed the men across town until they finally stopped to park in an alley between a couple of rundown old vacant office buildings. Watching their every move as they exited their car, Fili followed in haste as they hurried through the alley toward a side door and entered the building.

The gun he held began to feel slippery from the beads of sweat forming on his hand. Just before Fili opened the door, he took a deep cleansing breath closing his eyes to calm himself and focus. His karate master would have been so proud the way he found inner peace so quickly in the face of such danger.

Giving the men a moment to venture further inside the building, Fili then opened the heavy metal door as quietly as he could. The debris on the floor made it difficult to walk silently, but he tried to be as ninja-like as possible not wanting to alert the men of his presence. 

“So when and how are we going to get to Thorin?” Bolg was the always impatient youth.

“Smaug told me once, he believed Thorin had special friend, but he hadn't seen him in a long time. If we can find out who he is, maybe we can use him to draw Thorin out.” Azog was already plotting his next plan of action.

“Don’t you think he would come out for his sister?”

Azog found Bolg's question amusing as he chuckled. “He never came out for his brother! Why would he come out for his sister? Ehh, I’m not ready to go after her just yet anyway. I want Thorin because I’ve been told he has something of value he refused to give up to Smaug.”

“I know, I know, the casino. Thorin’s obviously not giving it up, and if we kill him, it will go to his sister.”

“Yes, but he has something else that Smaug wanted that seemed much more important to his boss, Sauron that no one else in his family knew about.”

“Do you know what it is?”

“A gem. A rare unique gem as priceless as the Hope Diamond. That’s what Smaug’s boss wants, and that’s what we’re going to get from him. Said it is also called the 'king’s jewel', the Arkenstone, but this one isn’t cursed. It’s supposed to bring good fortune and prosperity to its owner. Thorin's grandfather won it in a bet from Sauron many years ago, and he's wanted it back ever since.” 

Fili knew nothing of some rare priceless gem. Even his mother had never mentioned anything of it. And who was Thorin's special friend? Then he remembered meeting a little fellow many years ago before their world was turned upside down with Vili’s death. Thorin never saw him or mentioned anything about him since that Fili knew of. 

The room had become incredibly quiet. Just when Fili was about to make his move, the men had heard him and made their move first. Fili struggled and put up a valiant fight, but the two men were much larger than him wrestling the gun from his grip. 

Being slammed against the wall, he felt the air leave his chest and he couldn’t breathe in again as Bolg shoved him forward into Azog's tight grip. Suddenly Fili felt as if he'd been punched extremely hard in the back, then he realized he hadn’t been punched but stabbed feeling the warm blood spilling from his body. 

Excruciating pain ripped through his body as a knife torn threw his back at a destructive angle, mortally wounding him. Fili fought to breathe, but couldn’t and the agonizing pain gave way to numbness as the knife severed several major organs and nerves as his blood flowed covering the floor where they stood.

At last, the ruthless evil man jerked his knife from his victim’s back and let him fall like a ragdoll to the concrete floor. The men laughed at the young man left lying in a pool of his own blood dying. 

“One less heir of the Durin’s casino empire to bother with!” Bolg stated in a heinously, but much to Fili’s distress, Azog added. “Yeah, but now we still need to find and kill his brother.”

Lying on the cold, filthy concrete, Fili felt his life draining away. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t blink, he couldn’t speak. If he could only look upon Kili’s sweet face to see his beautiful smile and alluring dark hazel eyes. To hold him and feel his warmth against his bare skin one more time. If only he could taste Kili’s kisses, and tell him how much he loved him one last time. 

Tears fell from the corners of his eyes running into his golden braids. The braids Kili put there as a visual reminder of their loving bond and their vow to be together forever. 

Fili’s lifeless body laid on the floor turning cold, he took one last mortal breath as his spirit began to rise and float lingering above the broken body he was leaving behind. 

Even in death, Fili worried about Kili. _‘What will this do to Kili? He’ll be devastated! He’ll be lost without me! And those thugs are planning to kill him! I can’t let that happen to him!’_

Darkness and silence came without warning for Fili’s spirit before it felt like an eternity being pulled rapidly into light that became brighter and brighter, but it wasn’t blinding. It was the brightest of any sun Fili had ever seen in his mortal life, but it didn’t hurt to look at. In the light, his spirit felt comfort and at peace being here, but where was _here_ he wondered. 

“Where am I?” At first Fili cowered when he saw a shadow figure coming toward him, but a feeling of peace and love quickly replaced the initial feeling of fear. “Dad? Is it really you?”

~`~

Kili had been checking his phone constantly all day waiting for Fili to text him, or at least answer his messages. He couldn’t understand why Fili wasn’t responding. He even tried to call him, but the phone would go straight to voicemail. It was getting late when he decided he should go on home. Maybe Fili came home while he was out and fell asleep or something.

He was just about to leave his neighbor, Tauriel’s place across the hall from their apartment where he had been visiting with her all afternoon and evening when he heard someone knocking on his door. Looking through the peephole of Tauriel’s apartment door, he saw two police officers.

At first Kili panicked thinking they may have found evidence of Smaug’s murder. _‘Oh shit! Maybe they already arrested Fili!’_

“What is it, Kili?” Tauriel asked. 

“There’s a couple cops at my door.” He didn’t want to seem suspicious or anything so he opened the door to go across the hall to see what they wanted while Tauriel stood in her doorway.

“Can I help you officers?”

One of the officers turned around. “We’re looking for Kilian Durin.”

“That’s me.” Kili began to breakout in a nervous sweat. No good ever came from police looking for him in the past. 

“We’re sorry to inform you that your brother, Fili Durin has been found dead. It appears, he had been murdered.” The officer bowed his head. 

“What?” Confused, Kili’s blood ran cold. It was a surreal moment. This couldn’t be happening. This had to be a horrible nightmare that he needed to wake up from.

"Oh Kili!” Tauriel hurried to grab him when his knees gave out, keeping him from collapsing onto the floor. 

Kili felt weak in her arms as if he was going to pass out, he mumbled, “This can’t be…oh gods…” His eyes flooded instantly with tears, and his painful anguished screams echoed in the apartment stairwell as his body shook with sorrow and grief. “Noooo! Fili!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you guys enough for your comments on the last chapter! It was my plan all along for Fili to be the one to die, but needed confirmation from you that I was making the right choice :D  
> Thank you all for reading, and the comments and kudos! Comments are always welcome!


	11. Give Me A Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili is reunited with his father and Kili struggles with his loss.

“Fili? Oh, Fili my son! Oh, how I’ve missed you!” Fili’s father, Vili rushed toward his confused son, and threw his large arms around him giving him a fatherly bear hug. 

It wasn’t that he wasn’t excited to see his father again, but Fili was still trying to adjust to the idea of being dead, or at least removed from the mortal realm from which he left just minutes ago. “I missed you too, Dad, but…Where are we?”

With a little chuckle, the older spirit tried to answer his son the best he could. “We lingering in this dimension, a smidge above that of the mortal world until it is time for us to pass into the halls of waiting.” 

Fili seemed more bewildered than before. Vili tipped his head and smiled. “Don’t worry Fili. You’ll still be able to watch over Kili.” Watching his son’s reaction left him a bit unsettled as his smile faded. “You’re angry.”

The unrest in Fili’s spirit grew. “Yes. I am. But I’m not angry because Azog killed me. I’m angry because he took me away from Kili. I need to stop those two from killing anyone else. I want Kili to avenge my death...” 

The bright light of Fili's spirit darkened causing Vili concern. “ _Fili…_ ”

“Dad, is there a way for me to communicate with Kili? If there is, please tell me how! I need to let Kee know how much I love him and I haven't really left...and I have to help him, he's in danger!”

~`~

It was the most emotionally painful and disturbing thing Kili had ever done or would ever do in his life. Having to identify his brother’s body was overwhelmingly difficult for the teen. His cousin, Nori drove him and waited outside the door to be the support he knew he would need when the task was over.

Kili followed the coroner into the cold sterile room. With eyes averted, through peripheral vision he could tell there laid a body on the table covered by a single light blue sheet. Swallowing thickly, his mouth became dry, and his stomach twisted anticipating the moment the sheet would be lowered.

The coroner asked if he was ready. With a nod Kili shut his eyes at first, then opened. Instant tears flooded his eyes, and his lips pursed and quivered holding back the sobs that begged for release seeing his once lively brother lying so silently still and lifeless and blue on the cold steel table. Without a sound, Kili nodded, then asked if him he could have a moment alone.

Fili watched his brother lean over and kiss his matted golden curls, stroking one braid that laid alongside his ear. _‘I’m so sorry you had to see me like this, Kili!’_

A few tears dripped from Kili’s swollen eyes onto Fili’s cheek. “Fili…Why did you go off alone without me? I thought we were in this together!” With the slightest touch to wipe the tears away, Kili shuddered feeling how cold his brother’s usually extra warm skin was now. 

“I love you so much Fili…No matter how long I live, I will be yours...forever." After feeling strong, brave and invincible for so long, Kili crumbled feeling lost and defeated. "Maybe I will be with you again soon.”

 _'No, Kee! I’ll protect you and you will live a long happy life, my little raven!'_ Fili hoped he wasn't thinking of doing anything stupid. If Kili meant he thought he would be hunted down and killed, he couldn't have been more wrong. _'I'm going to help you take out that motherfucker Azog and his evil spawn!'_

~`~

It wasn’t for the lack of trying, but Kili couldn’t sleep. The king sized bed he shared with his brother seemed even larger, and much colder now. Staring at the emptiness next to him, he sighed and tried to fluff his tear-soaked pillow. 

Memories of a happy carefree childhood played in his mind when he shut his eyes as if watching an old home movie. Sunshine filled afternoons in the mountain forest where they used to run and play for endless hours. Playing pranks on their mother, neighbors and occasionally each other. 

Those sparkling blue eyes, the brightest smile and adorable dimples offset by beautiful long golden hair was laughing at him beckoning him into his protective loving arms. Kili didn’t just love his brother, he had been _in love_ with his brother. 

How was he going to go on without him now? Fili was the only person on earth he ever loved this way, or ever wanted to be in love with. At eighteen, a lifetime without Fili seemed like an eternity he thought staring off into the dark silent room feeling hollow inside.

Kili climbed out of bed at sat at the window. The night sky was filled with stars, but the brightest star caught his eye. _‘Dad told me stars are the souls of our ancestors that have passed on. I know that brightest star is Daddy’s soul watching over us, Kili.’_ The grief stricken teen wanted to believe as Fili did now. 

Wiping his eyes, Kili felt as if he couldn’t cry anymore so many tears had already fallen this day, but more came when he wished for a miracle staring at the brightest star in the sky. “Fili, if you can hear me…I need to know you’re alright…I need to know you’re still with me somehow. Please give me a sign, Fee…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter - next one will be much longer ;)  
> Thank you for reading! Comments are welcome!


	12. Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili makes subtle contact.

It had been two weeks since Fili’s funeral, and Dis called daily to check on Kili. She tried to talk him into moving home with her, but he wanted to continue going to college in Dale. Even Thorin tried to talk him into living with him now that he too was all alone without Frerin, but Kili held a grudge against his uncle. He didn’t hate him, but he had lost respect for him and didn't really feel like even talking to him.

Sitting at the small dining table made for two, Kili leaned on one elbow poking at his cereal with a spoon. The little marshmallow shapes floating in the milk mocked him. Hearts, moons, stars…he used to give Fili all the stars when they were kids, and sometimes as adults as an inside joke between them. Exhaling heavily he dropped his spoon and continued to stare at the empty chair across from him.

Tauriel came knocking on his door much too early for his liking, but he invited her in. She had a basket full of food containers that she promptly filled his refrigerator with. Kili watched her silently going about her business, and when she was done she turned to him with a satisfied smile.

“There! I made enough meals for you to keep frozen so you can easily take one out to heat up as you need it. I can tell you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re losing weight! You need to eat.” Taking the seat across the table from him, she noticed the small pile of soggy marshmallow lying on the table. “Don’t you like the stars?” 

Kili felt a heaviness in his heart as he tried to explain the significance of the stars to her. Tears came to her eyes feeling sympathy for her friend. “I too believe in spirits. I’m sure Fili’s somewhere in this room right now telling me to get out of his chair!” She tried to joke, but Kili couldn’t find anything to smile about anymore.

Fili’s spirit on the other hand thought it was funny as he stood behind the girl sitting in his seat. _‘You have no idea how much I wish I could flip you out of my chair right now!’_ He snickered mischievously, but was thankful for the kindness she showed his brother. _‘But thank you for taking care of Kili, bringing all that food. That was very thoughtful of you. He is lazy when it comes to cooking for himself.’_

Tauriel reached across the table to lay a hand on Kili’s arm. “It’s a beautiful day. Would you like to get out of here for a while and go to the lake with me? We could walk around the park and talk…or just walk together.” 

Kili contemplated the idea as she begged. “Kili, please you need to get out. Get some fresh air, it would be good for you.”

 _‘Go on Kee. It would be good for you.’_ Fili was relieved to see the slight smile on his brother’s face for the first time since he passed. Moving to stand next to Kili, he wanted to give him a hug.

“Sure. I’ll get ready now.” Pushing his chair back, he scooped the little stars back into his bowl. As he turned to go into the kitchen, something stopped him. A cold chill ran down his spine. He looked over at Tauriel still sitting in the chair. “Did it suddenly get really cold in here?”

Tauriel shook her head. “No. It’s actually too warm in here. I was going to suggest opening a window.”

Kili continued on taking his dishes to the kitchen trying to shake the strange feeling the coldness gave him. It wasn’t just cold. He felt something he couldn't explain. 

Fili watched how confused Kili seemed while washing the few dishes lying them aside to air dry. _‘Did you feel that, Kee?’_ With a twinge of hope, Fili tried to touch his brother once again running a hand along Kili’s bare forearm. 

A slight tingling sensation teased the hair on his arm to stand up from the chill. Kili gasped and dropped the glass he held into the sink taking a quick step backward from where he stood. “What the fuck was that?”

With a wide smile, Fili laughed at Kili's reaction feeling proud of his own personal accomplishment. _‘I did it! You CAN feel me! But I want to be able to do so much more than this...’_

~`~

More than a month had passed, and day after day, Kili became accustom to feeling pockets of cold air he would pass through from time to time in his apartment. On occasion he would get that same strange sensation of something touching him while he was away from the apartment, but not as often. Fili liked teasing him in public, testing his ability making sure Kili could still feel his touch, but his favorite thing was he loved to let his brother walk through his spirit at home. As Kili would pass through him, his spirit felt _alive!_ Kili's youthful energy was key in helping him connect between their worlds.

One day on passing through a patch of cold air, Kili froze, and his eyes widened. "Fee?" A chill ran up his spine. The smell of Fili's favorite cologne lingered in the air. Tears came to his eyes, and he shook his head in disbelief. "No...I want to believe you're here with me so bad, my mind's playing tricks on me now. I'm imaging things. "

"No you're not, Kee." Fili wanted to cry if he could knowing how much Kili missed him, and wanted to believe that which was true. "I am here, Raven. I wish there was more I could do to let you know I haven't left you." His spirit stroked the teen's long raven hair locks wishing he could take away the pain in his brother's watery eyes as Kili wiped those tears away. 

With a knock on the door, Kili sniffed and finished wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "Coming!" With a genuine smile, Kili greet his cousin, Ori with a welcoming hug bringing him inside. "I'll just be a minute." 

While Kili was finishing getting ready to leave, Ori waited patiently in the living room. Looking around the room, he began to have a strange feeling as if he wasn't alone. Turning around quickly to look behind him, no one was there. Ori's frightened expression caused Fili's spirit to giggled at his cousin's fright until Ori spoke to him. "Fili?" 

Ori felt ashamed of himself when his eyes connected with Kili's after he had turned back around questioning what he thought he heard. "I'm sorry, Kee. I-I don't mean to upset you, but I swear I thought I heard Fili laugh." 

Instantly Fili sobered. _'Can you hear me, Ori?'_ His spirit hurried to follow his cousin. He laid his hand on the phone Ori held in his hand to draw more energy. _'Please Ori! If you can hear me, tell Kili I miss him and I love him more than ever! I've never left him and never will!'_

Ori's mouth dropped open with a gasp as Kili's brow furrowed curiously. "What's wrong?" 

"I don't know!" Ori's breathing became heavy as he grabbed his chest. "I got this overwhelming feeling..." Tears formed in the ginger's eyes, he couldn't control the overwhelming feeling of sadness that hit him so suddenly enveloping his soul, he was forced to blurt out, "Fili really loved you..." Kili quirked his head at the comment. "He's sad because he misses being with you." Ori bit his lip as a tear rolled down his cheek. 

Kili shook his head watching how strangely Ori had been affected by something. "I can't explain it, but what I said was what I _felt_. He's here...right now, and he's never going to leave you" 

If he didn't know Ori as well as he did, Kili would have thought Ori was losing it, but the sincerity in which he spoke, his expressions and feeling that came from what he said were true. 

"You think I'm crazy." Ori knew what he felt, but questioned himself and worried Kili would be so very angry with him. Instead the grieving teen's reaction was neutral. 

"It's alright, Ori. I do want to believe what you said you felt, but..." Turning away, he picked up his jacket and went to the door. "Fili's gone. Forever. I'll never get to hear his laugh, or feel his touch or see him ever again." Opening the door, he looked back waiting for Ori to follow. "Are you coming?" 

~`~

Ori and Kili met up with Bard and Tauriel at the bar down the strip from their apartment building. After quite a few drinks, Bard pulled Kili off his bar stool, and drug him over to the pool table where Ori and Tauriel were finishing a game. "Come on, Kee. You and me against Ori and Tauriel." 

A goofy drunken grin spread across Kili's face as he shook his head. "Now that's not fair teams, Bard...Ori's not that good, and T's a girl!" Ori shrugged his shoulders looking at all the stripped pool balls still lying on the table. 

Tauriel hit the eight ball in the corner pocket for the win, and straighten her stance taking offense to the comment. "What's that supposed to mean? You think I can't shoot cause I'm a girl?" 

"Well, not exactly, I'm just saying Bard and I have run these tables and well, I've seen you shoot..." Very animatedly Kili leaned over toward her cupping his hand around his mouth he whispered loudly, "And you're not very good!" 

"As drunk as you are, maybe that will even out the playing field then." Giving him a two-finger shove to the chest, he stumbled backwards falling against the pool table watching her spin around flipping her long auburn locks. "Rack 'em Ori!" 

Bard cocked an eyebrow and handed Kili a pool stick smirking all the while. "Watch it, Kee, she's better than you think." Then the tall brunet got a delicious idea and made a suggestion to make the game even more interesting. "Kili's a gambling man, T! What do you think about making a little wager on this game?" Sliding a leg in between Kili's thigh lightly pressing up against his groin teasingly. "If Tauri and Ori win, you can go home with her. If we win, you go home with me." 

Knowing how Tauriel felt about Kili, Bard felt it was going to be a winning situation for her or himself though the young woman shot him a look knowing what Bard wanted as well. Kili was too drunk to realize he was the prize to be won, and much too drunk to care. 

Playing along Kili gave Bard a saucy innocent smile and teased drunkenly. "What do I get out of it?" 

Before backing away, Bard leaned forward leaving the teen with a promise. "You won't be alone tonight." 

It was a bet Kili couldn't lose. The second Bard gave him space to move, the teen rolled around going over to pick up the blue chalk lying next to where Tauriel stood, he gave her a wink. "Let's do this then, shall we?" 

Ori didn't like how these two were taking advantage of his intoxicated young cousin. Cornering Kili as Tauriel went about picking up the break stick to take the first shot, Ori quietly gave him a reminder. "Don't let them use you, Kee. Don't forget about Fili." 

The happiness left his face as he looked Ori in the eye. "You don't need to remind me of Fili. He's always on my mind. I'll never forget him. But like I told you, he's gone. I'm here. Alone. If I would've died, I would've wanted Fili to move on. I'm only eighteen, Ori. I honestly don't want to live anymore without him, but while I'm here, I need to satisfy my needs. They can use me all they want." 

As the game played out, Ori kept quiet watching the playful teasing going on between the other three. It had finally come down to the last shot. Tauriel leaned over the table lining up her shot, and called it. "Eight ball, off the side rail into that corner pocket." If she made this shot, Kili would be hers for the night. 

Standing so close to Bard, Kili could smell his cologne that had been driving him crazy all evening. "I hope she misses." Bard gave the teen a curious hopeful look. "You want to come home with me?" 

The wooden stick connected with the ball sending it at an angle down the felt bouncing off the side rail heading slowly for the intended corner pocket rolling to a dead stop teetering on the edge. Bard laughed at the girl's loss, and threw an arm over Kili's shoulder. "Sorry, T! Kili's mine!" 

No sooner had the sarcastic sentiment left his lips, the black ball fell into the pocket and Kili shivered feeling a cold brush of air along his arm. _'Not so fast, Bard...Kili's mine!'_


	13. Watching Over You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tauriel takes Kili home from the bar revealing her true nature, and on another day Bard takes a direct hint to stay away from Kili.

A slightly jealous Bard said good-night to Tauriel and Kili as she guided the intoxicated teen to her apartment. The younger brunet had been singing and laughing all the way home. What normally didn’t seem like a long walk became very daunting for the two less drunk people trying to get him to their destination. 

“You know, Bard…” Kili started as Tauriel rolled her eyes trying to unlock her apartment door. “Tauri doesn’t know how lucky she’s gonna be cuz she’s gonna be the first woman I ever kissed!” 

With a snicker, Bard shuffled on down the hallway to his place waving a hand. “Have fun with that!”

Tauriel grabbed Kili by the arm and pulled him into the hallway of her apartment leaning him against the wall, she stuck a warning finger in his face and ordered, “Stay here, and don’t move!” 

Locking the front door, the young woman headed off to the bathroom to get ready for bed, mumbling to herself all the while, Tauriel quickly pulled up her very long auburn hair into a high ponytail and changed into her favorite kitty-cat nightshirt. 

By the time she came out of the bathroom, in that short amount of time, Kili was gone. “Dammit! Where’d you go? Kee?” 

Rounding the corner to her bedroom, the girl gasped immediately covered her eyes finding Kili stripped naked lying spread out on her bed. “Oh god, Kili! Cover yourself!”

“I-I thought since you won the bet that…” Suddenly bewildered, Kili grabbed at the blanket to pull it over himself.

Keeping her eyes averted toward the floor, Tauriel found his briefs and tossed them onto the bed. “Please, put them back on.” She turned her back to him giving him a moment to dress.

Feeling slightly embarrassed for the teen, Tauriel tried to be as apologetic and kind as she could be trying to explain. “Kili, Bard’s bet was who you were going home with. He never mentioned having sex with you, if that's what you thought. Maybe that’s what _he_ had in mind, but that wasn’t what he said, and that’s why I was glad I won. To save you from him taking advantage of you.”

Slowly turning around seeing Kili now lying under the blankets, she casually slipped under the blankets adjusting her pillow to lay next to him. “You're very attractive, Kili, but you’re just my friend, and I want to watch over you, and take care of you as Fili would have.”

Fili’s spirit puffed up his chest. _‘I was right about her! I chose wisely!’_

Kili laughed over the incident, and confessed through drunken speech waving a hand animatedly in the air. “To be honest, I’m glad you weren’t expecting to have sex with me because for one, I'm _really_ drunk and pretty sure I can't get it up right now, and two…I’ve never been with a woman before!" With a sigh, he rubbed his face before trying to focus on the girl's sincere green eyes. "Not that I wouldn't mind, but...oh, fuck who am I kidding...I miss Fili.” When the girl reached over to touch his hair, his seriousness returned. 

Tauriel gently brushed back a few stray locks from his face. “Whatever happened to your boyfriend? I didn't want to ask, but was curious. I thought it was weird he wasn’t around to take care of you after Fili passed away. I would’ve thought he would have been here all the time staying with you or at least stopping by to check on you.”

Seeing her concern for him, he wanted to be honest with her. "Tauri…can I trust you?”

“Of course! What is it?” 

“Only a few people know the truth about my boyfriend. Please don't get all weird about this if I tell you.” He began to put faith in their relationship hoping he wasn't making a mistake. "Fili wasn’t just my brother.”

Tauriel furrowed her brow giving him a quizzical look. 

Taking a deep breath, Kili found the courage to say it. “We were lovers. I lost everything when he died.”

“I…I don’t know what to say.” Tauriel was shocked as expected, but she didn’t freak out like Kili assumed she would. “Now I understand why you two seemed so extraordinarily close.”

Looking up when she tenderly touched his cheek, Tauriel moved forward ever so gently placing a gentle sympathetic kiss upon his lips. “I am very sorry for your loss, Kili.” 

Tauriel’s lips were much softer than Fili’s ever were, and it was nice, but he missed being kissed by his brother. He missed a lot of things about being intimate with Fili. 

"I miss him so much." Fili wanted to hold him. _'I miss you too, Kee.'_

"I miss his touch, and the way he used to hold me when we’d fall asleep.” A single tear ran down his cheek as the girl wiped it away with care before clearing tears of her own. 

“Would you like for me to hold you until you fall asleep?” Tauriel's offer was innocent and welcomed. 

Without a word, Kili turned over on his side allowing Tauriel to curl around him from behind spooning him like Fili used to do shifting around until they were both comfortable. "Tauri?" 

"Yes?" 

“Thank you...for being my friend.” The teen was genuinely grateful to have such an understanding caring friend at this time in his life. 

Her body felt obviously different from his brother's, but comforting all the same feeling of warmth and tenderness of being held was enough to coax him to drift off into a peaceful slumber as Fili's spirit watched over him. _'Good night, Raven. I love you.'_

~`~

Going back to work at the casino was a good thing for Kili. He had to keep his focus on the cards and the bets leaving very little time for his mind to wander. It was when his shift was over he would always look around having visions of Fili walking the floor as the manager he used to be there. It was when his shift ended, he would go drinking at the bar down the strip from his apartment. 

Thinking he was all alone sitting at the bar, a little curly hair blond man took up the stool next to him and ordered a glass of wine. Kili stared at the man as if he had two heads. 

The awkwardness of just knowing someone was staring at him, made the man uneasy, but he slowly turned his eyes toward the brunet and politely addressed him. "Hello. Um, was this seat taken?"

"No. Do I know you?" Kili was sure he had seen this guys somewhere before, but he just couldn't place his face. 

"I, uh, I don't think so-so. I'm from out of town." 

"As most people here are. What's your name?" 

"Bil...Bill. I'm Bill. Here on business. Not to gamble." Bill looked toward the man approaching. 

Bard made a surprise appearance sliding an arm around the brunet swaying on his bar stool just in time to keep him upright. "Careful there, Kili! Don't want anyone to have to scrape you off the floor!" 

The blond practically spit his drink back into his glass. "Kili?" 

"Do you have a problem with my name, _Bill?_ " Quirking an eyebrow at the stranger, the inebriated teen seemed to be offended. 

"No! I just I know someone here in town that is related to someone by that name, and you sort of look like him that's all. Sorry." Quickly reasoning his actions, the blond explained.

A goofy grin spread across the brunet's face. "Really? What's his name?" 

The tall brunet straddled one of Kili's thighs wrapping his arms around the teen's waist and nuzzled into his ear whispering to him. "Stop talking to that guy, and kiss me." 

With drunken heavy eyelids shutting, Kili threw his head back and devoured Bard's tongue delving into his mouth. "Let's go to your place, Kee. You fell asleep on me the other night. I know you want to fuck as much as I do. Come on baby, let's go." 

The stranger cleared his throat looking away from the two exchanging sloppy kisses and more displays of affection than he wanted to bear witness to as their hands groped one another in places unsuitable in public. 

"You know I want you, Bard. Tauriel's done everything she can to keep me away from you. She can't possibly have anymore emergencies that she needs my help with. I really I need this..." Kili slid off the bar stool into Bard's strong supportive arms. "Let's go." 

Exchanging a little wave good-bye with Kili, the curly haired blond watched Bard help the drunk teen along as the two left the bar. _'Kili? I swear Thorin said his nephew's name was Kili...nah, can't be!'_

~`~

Bard and Kili barely made it up the last flight of stairs when Tauriel opened her apartment door to see Bard using Kili's key's to open his door across the hallway. She stood there watching with her arms folded as Bard looked back with a smirk when he unlocked the door. "No Bard!" 

Kili even shook his head. "We were so quiet, how did you even know we were here?" 

"I heard a knock on the door. Kili, don't-don't do this! Remember what we talked about the other day?" Tauriel was concerned about Kili drinking too much, and more recently letting Bard take advantage of him when he was drunk. 

Bard laughed. "Oh my fucking god, Tauriel! Kili and I haven't done anything because of you! Every time Kili and I have tried to get together you have some crazy thing happen to interrupt us! You're oven caught on fire, your cat got out and Kili helped you search for it for hours, your car wouldn't start and you were late for work and needed Kili to take you to work, you cut your hand and was bleeding all over the place needing stitches, what next? How do you do it?!" 

Fili's spirit laughed so hard he was surprised the living didn't hear him. _'Sorry about all that, Tauri, but it was necessary!'_

"I didn't do any of that on purpose, seriously Bard! Kili, please come over here and stay with me." She pleaded in vain.

Kili gave Bard a lustful look and answered, "Not this time." 

Once inside the apartment, Bard locked the door and lifted Kili letting the teen wrap his legs around his waist as he carried him back to the bedroom smothering him in kisses along the way. "Fuck, hurry up before Tauri starts knocking on the door or something!" 

Pressing Kili down on the mattress, Bard kissed him once. "Nothing or no one's stopping us this time." The two had already helped one another out of their shirts, and just as Bard's hand reached down to undo Kili's jeans, they heard a door slam in the other room. 

Both of the men jumped at the sound. Bard knew he had locked the front door. He put a finger to his lips and whispered. "I'll check it out. Stay here." Kili's heart was pounding fearing one of his enemies may have found him, and had broken in. Glancing at the dresser drawers all he could think about was his gun as he sat there on the bed contemplating what to do, but Bard returned quickly. "It was nothing." 

His gun. The gun he had not held in his hand since the day he and Fili killed Smaug. The gun he wishes to use on the ones responsible for Frerin and Fili's death. Bard tipped his head waving a hand into front of Kili's face as the teen sat on his bed in a daze. "Kee? Are you alright?" 

"Yeah, sorry. Where were we?" Sitting on his knees on the mattress, Bard slipped his fingers into Kili's long raven hair lightly holding his head while the teen quickly popped his jeans button and unzipped them licking and sucking his way down Bard's abs toward the band of his briefs. From the bathroom in the hallway they heard what sounded like something glass crashed to the tile floor and another door slam. 

"What the fuck? Now what?" Kili looked up at Bard as the older brunet cursed in frustration. "I'll be right back." 

Bard flipped the light switch on in the bathroom and noise instantly stopped. "That's just great." As he turned to leave the small room, he gasped in fright at the sight of Fili standing behind him in the mirror. Spinning around faster than humanly possible, Bard saw nothing behind him, but looking back into the mirror plain as day, Fili was there. His skin pale with a bluish tint of death, blood running from the side of his lips, his eyes were dark and cold staring directly into his brown eyes. 

The panicked stricken brunet knew he had lost his mind looking behind himself one more time, he didn't see anything, but heard the voice that petrified him. _"Kili's mine!"_

Searching for reason wasn't even an option at this point. Bard knew he hadn't drank enough to be hallucinating like this, and he wasn't going to hang around long enough to try and figure it out. The dark spirit gave him an ominous feeling he needed to flee. 

Running back to the bedroom, Bard was visibly trembling. Kili sobered enough to question him. Breathing heavily, the shaken man grabbed his shirt and put it back on with little explanation. "I'm sorry, I have to go!" 

Alone again, Kili sat there on his bed staring at the open doorway of his room trying to make sense of Bard's actions. He pulled himself off the bed and staggered off to the bathroom. Nothing had been broken, everything looked fine. Except for himself, he thought. 

Splashing some cool water on his face, Kili looked at himself in the mirror and began toweling off the excess water. Slowly he turned around feeling something behind him. Of course nothing was there. He turned off the light, and went back to his bedroom to sit at the window. 

The night sky was exceptionally clear and the stars brighter than usual. With a little snort, Kili thought of how Fili believed all those stars were the souls of those who had passed on. "If only spirits were real. I wish you were still here with me, Fee. I'd give anything to see you, hear you, touch you, feel you again." 

No sooner had the words left his tongue, the small wind chime with the little ravens on it hanging in the corner of his room began to tinkle. The hair on his body stood on end as a chill ran up his spine. Kili wanted to believe, and found it so illogical, but _'could it be?'_ he wondered not only hearing the chimes, but seeing them move without even the slightest breeze. "Fili?" 


	14. Love From Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili finds out there are such things as ghosts when Fili makes his presence known.

The movement of the chimes began to slow. Kili slid from his seat in the window sill quick to remove all of his clothes except for his briefs. Diving under the blanket he kept his eyes on the little ravens hanging from the ceiling until they finally came to a silent stop. 

The thin blue comforter gave him a false sense of security from whatever was happening in his room when something or _someone_ was slowly inching the cover from his chest. A cold tingle on his lips caused Kili to gasp and reach for his mouth only to feel what felt like a brush of cold run down his chest as the blanket continued to be removed from his body.

Wanting to awaken, the teen kept telling himself this wasn’t happening. It had to be his overactive imagination. _'That’s it. I drank too much!'_ He didn't believe in ghosts, and there was no way this was really happening. There was no way Fili was a spirit haunting him. 

Shutting his eyes proved only to make his senses more aware. Even more so when pressure splayed across his body as if someone was lying on top of him right before the chilly tingle returned to his lips this time with a bit of pressure feeling as if someone was trying to kiss him. 

Aside from his rapid breathing, Kili laid still, eyes opening and shutting, darting around the room searching for something tangible. Feeling he had nothing to lose, he spoke out loud to what he hoped was his brother's spirit. “Fili? You know I never believed in ghosts, but-but if-if this is really you, give me a sign. Please do something, anything!” Then suddenly the chimes caught his eye. “ _The chimes!_ Fili? If you are here, make the chimes move again!” 

Within a minute or so of the request, the little ravens began to spin ever so slowly once again. The high pitched tinkling sound of the tiny metal birds bumping into one another began again. That was nothing compared to the brush of cold that grazed across his thigh, moving upward over his clothes manhood. 

"Fili?" Kili's brow furrowed as his body tensed with jagged breaths feeling the foreign sensation causing him to get hard as the cold tingling energy suddenly seemingly felt very focused on his cock. 

"This is so _weird!_ " Pulling off his briefs, tossing them to the floor, Kili laid back trying to relax inviting this spirit which he hoped was Fili to continue to touch him in this manner. "Fee, if that's you, touch me again..." Thinking about what he could be getting into inviting this otherworldly being to touch him, he added, "...and this better fucking be you, and not some freaky incubus!" 

A very sensual erotic touch like a spark of energy began flowing through his skin arousing every nerve in his body on such a deeper level than Kili had ever felt with warm skin-to-skin contact. This strange new feeling made him dizzy and submissive allowing this entity to control him doing whatever it pleased. The spirit seemed to know all the right places to pay special attention to. Those little patches of skin where nerves seemed to be the most sensitive to this erotic sensation. 

The teen knew this had to be his brother caressing and teasing him the best he could from another dimension. Forcing himself to relax then tense again, Kili let the spirit envelope his body. Wave after wave of energy washed over his entire body as the light static electricity and pressure wrapping around his very aroused stiff cock at last brought him to completion. Not once did the teen touch himself, but something was able to pleasure him enough to cause him to cum hard. 

Panting and smiling, Kili couldn't believe what just happened. Looking at the mess on his belly, he laughed. "Oh my gods, that was amazing! If I hadn't experienced this, I would never believe it was possible! I know that was you, Fili, you knew exactly how to touch me!" Realizing he was speaking to the air above him, his smile faded some knowing Fili really wasn't there to truly hold him as he wished. "I love you, Fee...gods I miss you so much." After lying still for a few minutes to come down from his euphoric high, Kili pushed himself off the bed, and went to the bathroom to clean himself. 

Seconds after hanging the washcloth over the tub, as he turn looking into the mirror he almost fainted at the sight of his brother standing behind him. Fili was more beautiful to his eyes than ever looking like a glowing golden angel with piercing blue eyes staring back with his adorable dimples deepening with a warm smile. 

Kili spun around to reach for him, but as his hand swiped through thin air. The apparition had vanished faster than it had appeared. Maybe he would awaken from this dream when the alcohol wore off, but blinking hard a few times, he knew what he experienced was all very real and not an alcohol induced hallucination. That his beloved brother was indeed a spirit living in another dimension still watching over him. 

Once the initial shock of it all had worn off, Kili felt a sense of peace knowing Fili was still by his side as the teen crawled back into bed. Curling into himself beneath his thin blue comforter pressing his face into what was once Fili's pillow to inhale deeply taking in his brother's scent that still lingered in the fabric, he smiled faintly at the thought of how beautiful Fili's apparition looked in the mirror. "Thank you, Fili. I'm sorry I ever doubted you...please don't ever leave me." 

~`~

The surprise visit by Thorin's longtime secret lover was bittersweet. Though Bilbo and Thorin were a couple openly many years ago, the casino owner felt it best to stage their break up to keep his partner safe from anyone wanting to harm him after Vili's death. Their planned rendezvous were far and few between for the same reason. Bilbo had not been to Dale since their pretend fight in front of the Durin family members so long ago.

Thorin missed Bilbo something awful, and though he had a thousand questions running through his mind, he swept his little man into his arms the moment he entered his large office. Bilbo couldn't get a word out before his dark haired lover had him pinned on the couch practically ripping his clothes off. "Shhh! Questions later! I want you now!" Thorin growled filled with lust for his man. 

After a quick couch fuck, Bilbo was swooning almost forgetting why he had made the surprise visit, and Thorin almost forgot to ask lying in bliss stuck to the leather covering with his lover pressed against him. "Hmm, I missed you." He cooed nuzzling against Bilbo's blushing cheek. “I’m so very happy to see you, but you put yourself in danger coming here, you know. I’ve told you so many times not to ever come here or to even step foot in this city.” 

Bilbo explained he became worried when he hadn’t heard from Thorin in a couple weeks. Thorin worried Bilbo could have been seen therefore exposing himself as an acquaintance that could later be hunted by the same thugs looking to kill him. They also never mentioned a certain item Bilbo had kept safe for Thorin all these years. 

"Well, you're here now safe in my arms. I don't want you to leave now that you're here. How long can you stay?" 

"As long as you want me to stay." Bilbo wanted to stay forever. 

Thorin melted into his lover kissing him in a deliberately languid way. "I've felt so alone for so long now. My family is turning away from me. You're all I have left to live for." 

~`~

Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Kili rolled over in his bed trying to figure out what happened last night. For a moment he wasn’t sure if he had been dreaming, or if Fili’s spirit really did have sex with him. 

It didn’t take long for him to come to full consciousness and acknowledge what he remembered from last night, really did happen. A little disturbing, but nonetheless it was a comforting feeling knowing Fili was in essence still with him, though he was still very sad his brother wasn’t tangible. 

After work that night, sitting in a bar with his cousins, Nori and Ori, Kili had been downing shot after shot of tequila. Reaching for his beer, he knocked over a couple empty bottles. 

Nori grabbed one of the bottles before it rolled off the table and sat it upright again before running a hand over his face with a sigh. "Kee, maybe it's time we get you home." Too many nights of babysitting his youngest cousin in the bar while he got drunk was getting old. 

"I'm not done yet." Kili could barely keep his eyes open wobbling in his seat grinned like an idiot at Ori seated next to him. 

"Yes, I think you are!" Nori got up and tried to pull his cousin to his feet with little success. "Damn Kee, you're heavier than you look especially when you're drunk!" 

"Norrriii! I'm not going anywhere yet, I'm not done! I want another shot of...uf…sumthin..." Kili tried to spin around to go back to the table, but Nori stopped him.

Ori watched his brother struggling to keep Kili upright, and finally decide to help throwing his cousin's other arm over his shoulder to help Nori drag the drunk teen out of the bar. 

Grumbling all the way home, Kili continued to protest though physically he was unable to do anything about it. Pulling the dead weight of the teen up his apartment stairs was the hardest part for the two brothers. 

By the time they made it to Kili's apartment door, Ori almost couldn't stand he was so exhausted so he leaned a shoulder against his cousin to keep him standing upright while Nori unlocked the door. 

Kili just grinned stupidly and chuckled at Ori. "Ya know what, Ori? You were right about Fili!" 

Nori looked at Ori curiously. "What do you mean, Kee?" 

"You told me he talked to you, or you knew what he wanted to say to me, and I didn't believe you. But I do now, and I want you to talk to him for me!" Ori remembered the encounter was a bit disturbing for him, but if it would help Kili somehow he decided to go inside for a little bit knowing Nori would be there with him. 

"Are you okay with this, Ori?" Nori remembered Ori telling him about the strange incident not long ago. He wasn't so sure this sounded like a good idea, and the thought of reaching out to spirits made him uneasy though he didn't really believe whole heartedly they existed. 

Once Nori got the door open, Ori led Kili into the living room letting him tumble onto the couch. 

“Fili!” Kili yelled out. Nori shook his head, but Ori remained calm and open-minded. 

“Kee, if Fili’s spirit is here, I don’t think you need to yell for him. I'm pretty sure he can hear you.” Ori took his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans to lay on the coffee table as he sat at the very end of the couch near Kili. Suddenly the phone slid off the table. 

Ori didn’t think anything of it picking up the phone, he laid back on the coffee table only to have it fall again. Nori took note of how far back his brother laid the phone on the table this time, keeping a watchful eye on it. 

“What is it you want me to say or ask Fili, Kee?” Ori barely got his question out when Nori gasped seeing the phone fly off the table for the third time. 

“Oh my god! How the fuck did that happen?” Drunk Kili laughed at his older cousin's reaction to the paranormal activity. 

“Calm down, Nori, it's just Fili! I think he wants you to hold the phone Ori.” 

Nori shrugged at his little brother pulling his knees up to his chest huddled in the chair nearby. Ori picked up the phone and held it this time. Not one of the three men said another word for several minutes, then suddenly Ori blurted out, "Fili loves you Kili."

At first Nori didn't think much of it, Ori could've just been saying that. Everybody knew Fili loved Kili.

"Fili was very excited to be able to have sex with you last night." Ori slapped a hand over his mouth. "What?"

With an arm draped over his eyes, Kili snickered and giggled with a huge smile on his face. "You made me feel so good, Fee...it was amazing you could touch me that way!" 

"Really, Kee?" Nori rolled his eyes. "What the fuck, Ori? Why did you say that?" 

"Because that's what Fili said!" How dare his brother think he made that up. Ori was just about to tell Nori to shut up when he received another message from Fili to relay to his brother. "Oh dear...Kili...Fili thinks you should go home to your mother."

The thought had crossed his mind lately. A little bleary eyed, Kili sat up becoming serious staring at Ori as he were the one he was speaking to. "Is Mum in danger?" 

Ori waited for Fili to give him the _feel_ of what he wanted him to reply. "Not yet? Maybe he's worried about her for some reason?" 

"Maybe I'll go...it might be good for me to get out of here, but I don't want to leave Fili here." Kili had been thinking about going to visit his mother a lot lately. He hadn't seen her in a long time, and something had been nagging at him to go. 

"He's always with you, Kee. No matter where you go." Ori gave Kili a slight gentle smile. "I'm sure that must be a comfort to you."

"Yeah. It is. After last night, I know he's with me. Thanks Ori." The second the raven haired teen stopped talking and laid his head back on the throw pillow, he was asleep. 

Nori was officially creeped out. He stood to pat Ori on the shoulder. "Let's get out of here, Ori."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update this chapter - I'm still not thrilled with it, but I hope you like it.


	15. I Quit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili tells Thorin off, and has another drunken night. Fili finds out Bard isn't so bad after all, and feels a bit selfish.

Everywhere he went, Kili felt eyes watching his every move. Nori tried to convince him it was only his imagination, but Kili wasn’t so sure. He knew whoever murdered Fili was surely stalking him waiting for the right moment to take his life too. 

Nori refused to believe these hitmen were still out for Durin blood after Smaug had disappeared. No one ever found Smaug’s body, and had no idea he had even been murdered. Speculations over the eccentric man led most to believe he vanished on his own accord knowing the shady nature of their business. 

As far as Thorin was concerned he had secrets none of the others new about. His gambling had gone out of control over the years trying to buy time for himself and his family, but with obvious failures his family paid for his mistakes. 

Dealings with the leader of an organized crime ring, Sauron, the man Smaug had taken his cues from was waiting for the moment to strike. Thorin wasn't oblivious to the fact he was in danger, and though the threats he forever received had all but stopped soon after Fili’s death, he would continued to live with his guard up at all times as he traveled between the casino and his fortress home. Now that Bilbo was in Dale with him, he refused to let his little man out of his sight keeping him by his side at all times. 

Not hearing from Sauron in some time left the casino owner feeling uneasy. It was like the quiet before the storm, and he had begun to fear for Kili and his sister. 

Bilbo sat in Thorin’s plush casino office having some tea when Thorin finally joined him sliding up next to him on the leather couch. After time spent with Bilbo in deep conversation, realizing what was most important in life, Thorin made a decision concerning his nephew. He waited for Kili’s shift on the floor to end before calling him up to his office. It had been an exceptionally busy evening at the casino, and Kili was exhausted. Being ‘summoned’ to his uncle’s office was the last thing he wanted to do. 

Entering Thorin’s office, Kili was wearing his usual smirk when addressing his uncle. “You rang?”

Thorin stood from the couch between Bilbo and Kili. “That's enough, Kili. I wanted you to meet someone. Bilbo, this is my nephew, Kili. Kili, this is my, friend…my boyfriend, Bilbo.”

Kili smiled seeing the little blond man he remembered from the bar. “Bill! I knew I’d seen you before! Weren't you two together a long time ago?” 

“Yes, we were. You were just a young boy then. You remember me? And I'm shocked you remembered seeing me at the bar the other night?”

“What do you mean?” Kili's smile faded and his mood began to wane. 

“You seemed to have had quite a bit to drink before you left with that good looking fellow. Is he your boyfriend? You two seemed rather…affectionate.” For lack of a more crude term, it was the best way Bilbo could explain what he witness of the two. 

"I had a few drinks, but I knew exactly what I was doing! And no, Bard isn’t my boyfriend, he’s my neighbor. What's it to you?" Kili was offended this guy was pretty much calling him a drunk and possibly a slut. 

“Kili, I'm worried about you. Nori and Ori have both said you've been drinking a lot lately.” Though Thorin spoke out of concern, the irony grated on the teen's last nerve.

With a snort, Kili's brow furrowed. Glaring at his uncle, he spat. “Since when do you ever worry about anybody but yourself?”

Thorin's offer came from the heart, and he honestly wanted to protect his young nephew, but his gesture was sorely unwelcomed. “Kili, I want you to come live with me. Please. I’m worried about your safety.”

Bilbo could feel the tension in the air the way the teen glowered at Thorin and padded toward him with such intensity like he was a wild animal ready to attack. Thorin had never seemed so vulnerable before, shrinking with every word Kili threw at him. 

“You weren’t so worried about Frerin or Fili were you? You’ve forsaken all of us dragging us into a criminal life! I never wanted any of this! I only ever came here to be with Fili! Growing up my, innocence was stolen from me always having to watch my back fearing someone was going to kidnap or kill me! I was thrown into this world of sick greed and madness! For what? Wealth? Power? What is any of that if you can't have the people you love to share it with?” Thorin let the words sink in knowing all to well how true it was. The storm of anger Kili felt for Thorin that had been brewing inside of him for so long finally exploded in fury. 

"If you cared about any of our family, you would have done the right thing a long time ago, and maybe everyone would still be alive! I'm done, Thorin. I quit! I want nothing more to do with this business or _you!_ Fili should've never accepted working here. It wasn't what he wanted either, but he did it because he thought it was the right thing to do. He felt obligated to keep the _family business _going and look where it got him! Mom was the only smart one keeping her distance from this place!”__

Thorin knew how much his nephew and sister had suffered the most. "Kili, I never meant for..." 

"You never meant for what? For our family to become involved in organized crime? For my father, my brother, _your_ brother to be murdered because of what _you_ did?! Fuck you!" Turning to leave, Kili glanced at Bilbo. "If you had any sense, you'd go home and never look back!" Like a whirlwind the teen couldn't get out of Thorin's office fast enough slamming the door behind him. 

In the awkward moment that followed, Bilbo pursed his lips wanting to say something, but could see how upset Thorin was. "I don't know what to do anymore, Bilbo. Smaug's been gone for months now, and I haven't heard anymore from Sauron. I can still feel someone watching us. It's like it has become a game to him. I can't lose any more of my family!" 

Bilbo closed his eyes to think for a moment. "Then give him what he wants. I'll bring it to you. Give him the Arkenstone." 

Thorin sighed. "I'm not so sure its about the casino or gem anymore." 

~`~

Kili stormed out Thorin's office taking the elevator down to the lobby level of the casino. Walking toward the entrance keeping his head down, he and another man collided. 

Immediately the very large intimidating looking man apologized. "I'm so sorry! I..." Kili locked eyes with the man feeling as if he knew him, and apparently the feeling was mutual. "Do I know you?" 

"I don't think so." Kili replied. "I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going." 

A strange eerie smirk grew on the man's face as he glanced at Kili's gold name tag still pinned to his black work vest. "Apologies. It was I that wasn't watching where I was going...Kili." The man stepped around the teen to be on his way disappearing into the crowd. The vibe Kili received from the man was unsettling. 

Shaking the man from his mind, Kili left the casino to drive home to change clothes before heading off to the bar down the street from his apartment. The brooding teen went straight for the first open barstool he saw and plopped down. Tauriel had recently starting working at the bar a few nights a week for some extra cash, and apparently to keep an eye on Kili after she realized how often he had visiting the local pub. 

Lying the cocktail napkin in front of him, Kili looked up and grinned seeing Tauriel pouring a pitcher of beer for him. "I know that look. What's going on?" 

"Thorin...I quit." Kili shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do now...but what I do know is I need a shot of tequila." Tauriel shook her head, and poured the shot. "Do one with me? I'm buying!" 

"No. And I'm watching you tonight." She warned with a soft smile. The teen threw back his shot and smiled slyly back at his friend. He knew she meant it, but that didn't stop him from getting drunk. She didn't catch on to others ordering shots for him until it was too late. 

Wobbling from his seat, Kili slid off the barstool and realized immediately he wasn't going to be able to walk home without help. Tauriel helped him into a chair, and ordered him to stay there until the bar closed so she could take him home. Unfortunately, that was still a few hours away, and Kili could barely stay awake, so she called Bard to come get him. 

Bard hadn't even so much as looked at Kili since the incident at his apartment a few days ago, and he was still wary of even going near him, but he reluctantly went to get him. As he got his neighbor to his apartment door, Bard searched Kili's pockets looking for his keys. The drunk teen smirked at him when he realized the keys were in the front pocket of his jeans. 

"I'm not playing games with you, Kili. Give me your keys." Kili smirked fishing the keys from his pocket handing them over to Bard. "I'm just getting you inside, and I'm leaving." 

Kili swayed back and forth against the wall with a little snicker. "You saw Fili the other night, didn't you?" His smirk remained watching Bard trying to unlock the door.

"Why would you say that?" 

"Because I saw him too." A chill ran up Bard's spine. If Kili saw him too, then the apparition he saw in the mirror wasn't his imagination. 

"Then you know, I'm never going to try anything with you ever again, right? Don't tease me. I never believed in ghosts until that encounter, and I certainly don't want it to happen again. Fili made it very clear for me to stay away from you." 

Bard opened the door and drug Kili inside taking the teen to his bed. Kili fisted Bard's shirt and pulled him down to him. "Kiss me...please..." 

The brunet immediately pushed himself up, and backed away. "No! I mean it. That shit was scary, and I'm not messing around with the supernatural, Kee. Tauriel told me you and Fili were lovers, and I didn't know that until she told me yesterday. I'm going to respect Fili even in death, and you should too." 

Bard left the apartment locking the door behind him. He lingered in the hallway for a moment when he thought he saw a shadow on the stairwell. "Who's there?" When no one answered, and he neither saw nor heard anything, he hurried home. 

Kili's face felt numb from being so drunk, but he was conscious enough to think about what Bard said. Tears came to his eyes. "Fili...I'm not trying to cheat on you, it's just...I miss you so much! I miss feeling your warm skin against mine. Please don't be mad at me for needing that! Bard means nothing to me, you're the only one I'll ever love!" The teen pulled himself completely onto the bed and began sobbing into his pillow crying himself to sleep. Fili's spirit stood by his bedside feeling guilty now. He never meant to deny Kili earthly pleasures, but it hurt too much to see him with anyone else. Kili was his forever. 

Suddenly something alerted Fili to investigate the hallway of the apartment. Someone was there, but now they were gone. He didn't know who, but the energy left behind was disturbing. It was time for Kili to go home to their mother even if it was for a short visit. He would make sure his brother would go. 

In the morning, Kili stumbled into the bathroom with eyes still closed hoping his aim for the toilet was accurate. When he was done, he bounced off the wall on his way back to his room. Just as he fell back into bed, he received a sobering phone call from his mother begging him to come home. _'Kili, I really need to you come home! I can't it explain it, but something doesn't feel right, and I can't help but feel you need to come here. Please. For me?'_

Forcing himself to wake up, Kili drank almost an entire pot of coffee preparing to leave. While throwing clothes in a bag, Kili reached into his dresser drawer one more time to grab a few more t-shirts when his hand hit something hard. He didn't need to look to see what it was. Pulling his gun out of the drawer, he tossed it in a bag and went straight for the closet to find Fili's gun and knife taking those too. These were most definitely going with him. "I don't know what's going on, Fee, but I sure hope you're going with me." Within the hour, Kili's car was packed and he was on his way home to Dis. 


	16. Letting Go

The second Dis saw Kili’s car pull up to the house, she ran off the porch bursting into anxious tears throwing her arms around her son before he barely made it out of his car peppering his face with kisses.

“Oh Kili, I’m so glad see you again!” 

“I’m glad to see you too, Mom, but what’s going on? Has something happened?” Kili steadied his mother trying to figure things out.

"No, and I'm sorry if I sounded so dramatic. I really can't explain it, but I had an overwhelming feeling I needed to call you to come here, and, well, I'm sure you'll think I'm being ridiculous, but...I think it was your dad warning me of something. He visits me often." Dis turned away to getting one of Kili's bags from the car to carry in. "I know you think it's silly...to believe in spirits, but I know he's with me still."

"No, Mom. I don't it's silly at all." Dis was shocked having known since Kili was a little boy, he was adamant about not believing in ghosts when Fili did.

"Really? I thought..." Dis tipped her head searching his dark eyes. 

Kili shook his head. "I believe now." Leaving it at that, he didn't want to upset his mother anymore by telling her about his communications with Fili. "Here. Let me take that." Taking the bag from Dis, they walked silently into the house while she wondered why Kili had a change of heart concerning the afterlife.

As they entered the house, Dwalin came from the kitchen chewing on something, he smiled. "Kili! Good to see you! You're just in time for supper!"

"Tonight's Dwalin's night to cook. Lucky you!" Dis teased receiving a pouty look from her man. "It's all good, Sweetheart. I'm sure Kili's ready for some home cooked food no matter who made it."

Kili just chuckled at the two. "Actually yes, I am. Frozen dinners get old after awhile."

~`~

After dinner, Kili found his mother sitting in her bedroom looking through some old photo albums. Quietly he slipped onto the bed next to her to share stories and a few laughs reminiscing over some of the pictures. It was good for them both. 

"Mom...I didn't explain to you earlier why I said I believe in spirits now because I didn't want to upset you, but..." 

Dis knew by the pained look on Kili's face, and though it hurt to say, tears filled her eyes wanting confirmation. "Fili's with you?" 

Words stuck in his throat making it impossible to speak. Kili just nodded and let the tears flow. No one knew her sons the way she did. Dis knew that even in death Fili would never leave Kili, and this gave her a sense of peace knowing she was right. Fili would forever be with Kili. 

Dis brushed back a few loose strands of Kili's hair to tuck behind his ear, and as she did so she found a single braid hidden beneath his long hair clasp with a special silver bead. 

"Kili?...Is this...for Fili?" She felt uneasy asking, because she knew what it meant as she reached beneath her hair to touch the braid she wore as well. "Did he give you that bead? And...did you give him the one he was buried with?" 

Again Kili could only nod and sniff through his tears. Dis wiped her eyes and gave her son a heartfelt hug of sympathy. "You two were _in love,_ weren't you?" 

It was time she knew. He couldn't withhold the truth from his mother any longer. "Yes...we never wanted you to know. We thought you would be disgusted with us if you knew. Some of the family knew, but we tried to keep it from you." 

"Oh Kili! I think I always knew. I just chose to look the other way. You two were inseparable from the moment you were born." Kili felt relief not having to keep their secret from his mother knowing Dis wasn't making a huge deal out of it. Pulling the braid from under her hair, she showed the long plaited strands of hair clasped with a special bead to her son. 

"I wear this braid to remind me that I am still bound to your dad. When we became engaged, he braided my hair and gave me this bead, then I did the same for him. We didn't understand why we did it, but I loved it. I must confess, I remember seeing Fili's braid and yours once. I always wondered." 

Kili remembered the first time Fili braided his hair. He was very proud to wear the braid his brother placed in his hair. "I love you, Mom." The teen pushed off the bed to give his mother a hug. "It's been a long day. Think I'll go to bed now." 

"Good night, Kee." After Kili left her room, Dis smiled feeling a rush of cold air pass through her. "Thank you, Vili. I feel better knowing Fili's with you, and watching over Kili now." 

~`~

It seemed like forever since he laid in his childhood bedroom in the same bed he and Fili shared as they were growing up. It was strange how big and empty the bed seemed now lying there alone. Sleep was not going to take him anytime soon as memories of Fili played over and over in his mind. 

_‘I wonder if Fili followed me here.’_ Kili felt a little uncomfortable encouraging paranormal activity to occur in his mother’s house knowing she mentioned she has encounters with his father. 

“Fili? I don’t know how to ask this of you, especially if Dad’s with you, but…I want you to touch me. You know, like…what you did to me the other night…please? I'm really sorry about last night...with Bard. I hope you understand. I love you more than anything, Fee!” Kili laid there on the bed uncovered and naked, looking around his darken room waiting for a sign his brother's entity was there.

As much as he wanted to touch Kili, Fili wasn't so sure it was a good idea to continue having sexual contact with his brother, but he wanted him to know he was still with him. Looking over his little brother's fit sun-kissed body lying there waiting and ready to give himself to him, it didn't take long for Fili to give in to the temptation. 

Slowly Kili began to feel tingling similar to light static electricity dancing upon his skin. He could have sworn if he looked, he would see sparks fly though it didn't sting. It was a sensual, beautiful feeling. This was soon followed by the familiar chill that pressed against his lips. "Fili...I'm so glad you're still with me..." 

Cold spread across his body as he felt pressure bearing down on him as if his brother was lying on top of him. Knowing what to expect this time allowed the teen to relax and enjoy these exotic feelings playing with his mind and body. Fili somehow touched his thoughts, pulling his spirit from his earthly vessel long enough to hold him in a loving embrace to whisper his name and tell Kili how much he loved him before returning him to his mortal body. 

Kili trembled with joy being in his brother's arms and hearing Fili's voice for himself for the first time since he passed on even if it was a whisper, he didn't care. Fili _spoke_ to him. His words tasted like the richest chocolate and his touch felt like a vibrant colorful painting his perfect face framed with golden hair sounded like nirvana. Senses were jumbled and it didn't matter because he was floating in a dream. Everything about the moment being was held in his brother's sweet embrace was more than the most beautiful dream he could ever imagine. 

Completely submissive, Kili gave full control to Fili's spirit sending him into a trance like state. Every nerve was alive bursting with energy. Keeping his eyes closed tight, breathing becoming more labored feeling his climax coming. "Fili...Fili...oh fuck...yes! Fili!" with more intensity than the last time, Kili couldn't stop himself from taking his cock into his fist to feel his own warm hand tighten around himself as he came over fingers shaking in ecstasy. 

"I love you, Fili." Recalling a few moments ago he truly left his body to be held in his brother's arms, he began to weep once more. "I don't know how you did that, but thank you for holding me like that, Fee! I really needed it. I miss the way you used to hold me, and the way I always felt so safe in your arms." 

Fili was overjoyed being able to hold Kili like that even for a moment in time, and knowing he could hear him. It was enough to satisfy Fili for now, but he knew he probably could never pull it off again because it was a dangerous move. _'I love you more than you know, Kee. I'll wait for you as long as it takes for you to return to my arms.'_ Fili continued to have this intimate contact with his brother nightly for just over a week making sure Kili knew how much he loved him and missed him too. 

~`~

Just after sunrise, Kili went out to feed the goats and gather some eggs from the chicken coop for breakfast. Dwalin greeted the teen with a freshly brewed cup of hot coffee to take the chill off. 

"Thank you." Kili appreciatively took a sip of the coffee holding onto the mug to warm his hands. "I forgot how much I miss mornings like this. So peaceful and quiet. The fresh morning air. I'm not so sure I want to go back to the city now." 

"It really is the simple things, isn't it?" Dwalin smiled giving the boy's shoulder a squeeze. "I told Dis I didn't mind one bit if you were to move back here permanently. I know she misses you, and would feel better about you being here. This will always be your home, Kili."

Kili smiled. "Thanks, D" 

"Good morning, you two! Nice to see you both up so early!" Dis practically sang as she flitting about the kitchen feeling more chirper than usual this particular morning giving Dwalin a peck on the cheek. Maybe because she had her baby safe at home now. 

"G'morning, Mom!" Kili couldn't help but smile seeing how happy his mother was. _'Mom is happy with Dwalin, though her heart still belongs to Dad.'_ The thought never occurred to him until this moment, how life does go on. 

After breakfast, Dwalin went out back to work in the garden while Kili helped his mother clean up the kitchen. 

"Mom? Did you ever feel like you were...I don't know... _cheating_ on Dad when you got together with Dwalin?" Dis knew exactly why her son was asking now that she knew he and Fili had been lovers, so she tried her best to be careful how she answered. 

"I was alone for many years after your father died, Kee. Dwalin's a great guy, and he wasn't trying to take Vili's place in my heart. I believe Vili knows that." Dis smoothed a loving hand over her son's lightly bearded cheek. "Having someone to snuggle up to on the couch to watch a movie, someone to have a conversation with, to laugh with, to...sleep with. Kili, we're human, baby. It's normal to want companionship with someone. It doesn't mean you don't love Fili anymore if you find someone special you want to spend your days with, raven." Dis looked around the room. "And Fili, if you hear me, you need to understand that too! You gave me and Dwalin your blessing when you found out we were together, you should be understanding with Kili." 

He didn't like it, but Fili did understand how unfair it was to hope Kili would never be intimate with another. He understood he wasn't trying to cheat on him with Bard, but in time sex between the two dimensions wasn't going to be enough. Eventually it wouldn't be as fulfilling as having sex with a living breathing warm body. Fili knew it was in Kili's best interest to let him go, but he wasn't about to let his brother out of his sight. He had promised he would never leave him. 

~`~

A few weeks had gone by, and Kili began to feel the void in his life. Signs of Fili's presence all but disappeared, and he no longer felt his brother's entity touching him even though he begged for it. It was the hardest thing Fili had to do, but he knew he had to let go to help Kili move on. 

Waking in the middle of the night, Kili went to his bedroom window, and leaned his head against the cold glass looking out. It was a very crisp clear night in the mountains of Ered Luin making the stars seem brighter than ever. “Where did you go, Fili? Why can’t I feel you anymore?” With a sniff, the teen wiped the tears from his cheeks. “Why can’t I hear you?” 

Sobbing, the teen went curl up in his bed feeling hollow inside. “I can’t do this anymore, Fee! I need you to be with me! Oh god why did you leave me! I can’t do this alone! Don't leave me, Fili, I need you! You promised you'd be with me forever! I love you! " Kili's heart ached feeling as if he was mourning the loss of his brother all over again for this time he just knew Fili was really gone from his life. Why else would he stop making contact with him? 

"It hurts, Dad!" Fili sighed wishing he could cry to release his pain. "I hate seeing Kili so sad!" 

It took every ounce of restraint he could muster to keep from wrapping his arms around his brother to let him know he was still with him. Vili laid an arm around his son's shoulder to comfort him. "I know it hurts, Fili, but you're doing the right thing even if it doesn't feel like it. In time, when Kili moves on with his life, you can let him know you're still with him, and whatever he's doing to carry on and to be happy is alright with you." 

The next morning, Dis found Kili out back doing a little target practice with his guns. Kili never looked at her, completely focused on his target. Dis picked up one of the guns lying on the ground, and took aim at the target as well. 

"I see you haven't lost your talent for hitting your target." She said trying to compliment her son. Kili knew he was good. When he was firing his guns, the weapon became a part of him. 

"Are you alright, Kee? You've been so quite and distant lately." Kili fired another shot, and tossed the empty gun on the ground only to pick up a dagger lying next to it, and threw it with precision hitting the target dead center. 

"No. I'm not alright. I'll never be alright until I'm with Fili again." The intense fire in the teen's eyes left his mother feeling even more concerned about his mental state. "Did Dwalin leave for the airport yet?" 

"Yes. His plane should be leaving right about now." Dis began to tear up watching how angry her youngest son had become. "Balin's just having minor surgery. He'll be fine, and Dwalin will be back here before you know it...Kili please talk to me. What's going on? Why are you so angry and depressed? You weren't like this a couple weeks ago." 

"I haven't had anymore contact with Fili, and I think he's really gone now." Dis didn't need to hear anymore, she knew how heartbroken Kili was over this, and she couldn't promise him the visits from the other side would return. 

That night just after the sun had set, Dis was about to fall asleep on the couch sitting next to Kili who had already fallen asleep all curled up leaning against the arm of the couch with a blanket when they both were startled wide awake by the sound of footsteps on their front porch followed by a knock on the front door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to add to the feels for the last portion of this chapter, take a listen to the song that inspired me to write Kili's anguish over Fili 'leaving' him - "Ashes of Eden" by Breaking Benjamin.


	17. Mistaken Identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a reason Kili was meant to leave Dale for Ered Luin though not so fortunate for someone else.

Shaking off the sleep, Kili put a finger to his lips to quiet his mother. Tossing off the blanket, she nodded and followed him to the kitchen where he threw on his jacket and picked up Fili’s gun to hand to her. “Stay here.” He whispered as he silently slipped out the back door, and padded around the side of the house. 

Peeking around the corner of the house hidden behind the bushes surrounding the wooden front porch, Kili saw a man with long curly blond hair lit by the porch light standing there looking around waiting for someone to answer the door. The man tried knocking again. 

‘Hmm?’ Kili thought the man seemed harmless enough so he snuck up on him. Standing at the bottom of the porch steps, he kept his gun in his hand at the ready. 

Kili spoke in a clear and demanding tone. “Who are you? What do you want?”

Startled the man jumped, turning around quickly to see the tall intimidating looking teen staring him down. 

“I-I’m sorry! I just moved in up the street, and my electric went out and my cell phone died, and I need to call someone to come out and fix it, so I walked up here hoping I could use your phone to call the electric company.” 

Kili exhaled deeply trying to calm his nerves realizing the man seemed to be telling the truth knowing the house up the road had just sold recently. “What’s your name?”

“Éomer.” Éomer studied the way the teen continued to stand on guard, then noticed what he held in his hand. “Do you always greet your visitors with a gun?”

Suddenly Kili became aware of how he was holding the gun pointed at the man, and quickly tucked it away. “Living out here in the middle of nowhere, we don’t usually get unexpected visitors after dark. I was just being cautious. Sorry. I'll call someone for you.”

After seeing Kili's gun, Éomer was the unnerved one now as he was startled once again hearing the front door open slightly seeing Dis standing there holding her gun on him as well. 

"It's all good, Mom. This is Éomer. He’s our new neighbor. His electric went out, so I'm calling the electric company for him now." 

Dis lowered her gun giving the young man a sheepish look. "Sorry. One can't be too careful out here." Éomer didn’t seem threatening at all now that she got a good look at him. "Would you like to come in for some tea or coffee while you wait? Come on in out of the cold, and make yourself at home!"

"Yes, thank you! I appreciate it." Éomer followed Dis into the kitchen and took a seat at the table while she went about putting the kettle of water on the stove for tea. 

"So you just moved here, where are you from?" Dis went about pulling out her tea cups waiting for the water to heat up. 

When Kili came inside, he left his jacket on, and took a seat at the table as well never taking his eyes off the man. Éomer could feel the raven haired teen watching his every move making him a bit uneasy. The blond tried to smile at him. Kili could finally see in Eomer's warm brown eyes, he was no threat at all being completely honest with them. 

”Yes, Ma'am. I’m from Rohan. I wasn’t getting along with my uncle, and decided it was time for a change of scenery. So I moved here to Ered Luin. Hoping for a new start.” 

Dis brought the tea cups to the table joining the two young men, she sat a cup in front of Éomer and smiled at Kili as she sat his cup down as well. "Sometimes a new start is exactly what we need to be happy again." 

Éomer took a sip of tea and did a double-take seeing the slight smile creeping upon Kili’s lips. It was the first time Kili ever felt something for someone other than Fili. It was a foreign feeling to be attracted to someone else, but for reason he was oddly comfortable with it as if Fili was alright with it too. "Do you need any help getting things done around your place? Maybe I could come over tomorrow to help you." 

The blond began to feel a mutual attraction as well getting lost in Kili’s dark eyes. “Yeah. I could use some help, I appreciate it. I’d like that very much. Give us some time to get to know one another.” 

Seeing the spark between them, Dis bit her lip to stifle the little sound of joy that almost escaped her. It was so good to see Kili smile again. There was hope for his future happiness after all, and there was nothing more she wanted than to see her baby happy again. 

A couple weeks had gone by, and Éomer and Kili had become quite good friends working around both of their places and hanging out in the evenings together. Snow had come early to the mountains. It was a light covering, but it made for an especially chilly night. 

Éomer put another log on the fire before bringing a beer to Kili waiting for him on the couch. The blond tossed the bottle cap on the coffee table and joined Kili leaning back on the couch. “Want to watch a movie?” 

Kili took a drink and began to pick at the label on the cold bottle as an impish grin to a hold of his face. “I’d rather…look at you.” It wasn’t like the teen to be so open and honest about his feelings, but something about his new friend made him so incredibly comfortable to be around. He wasn’t embarrassed or afraid to say anything to him. 

Éomer looked away shyly and a tad bit embarrassed, but gods was he happy to know he wasn’t the only one feeling this way. “That’s good because I like what I see too.” 

Moving closer to Kili, Éomer slipped his fingers into Kili’s long hair drawing him into a sweet gentle kiss that grew in passion as Kili pulled himself closer to the blond tangling his finger into Eomer’s long golden curls. Everything about Éomer made Kili feel alive again as he could've sworn he saw fireworks behind his closed eyes. 

As they slowly parted from their heated kiss, Kili smiled feeling his heart beating faster for this man. “I could get used to this.” Éomer returned the sentiment and began to kiss him again working his fingers beneath Kili's shirt to help him out of it. 

Fili's spirit drifted away going to find his father. "Well?" Vili asked. "Kili's happy again...and I'm happy for him, but I had to leave. I can't watch him having sex with someone else not only because it hurts, but that's kind of creepy weird." Vili laughed knowing how he felt all too well. "I understand, son. We're ghosts, not voyeurs!" 

~`~

After Kili came home the next morning, Dis followed him to his room while she gave him the third degree about his evening with Éomer. “So? You spent the night, are you two a thing now? Did you sleep with him? Was he good?” 

”Mom! Seriously? I’m not talking to you about my sex life!” Kili checked the phone message he chose to ignore last night. 

The message was from a frantic Tauriel screaming about how someone had attacked Bard, and he was in the hospital in critical condition now. Kili threw his phone on the bed and immediately started packing his bags. "Kili? What are you doing? What's going on?"

"I have to go. Someone attacked Bard, and I can't help but think whoever did it must have thought he was me." Kili couldn't help but wonder if the reason Dis was compelled to call him to get him to leave his apartment and come home to Ered Luin was because Fili and Vili knew something was going to happen, but now he felt guilty for what had happened to Bard. _'It should have been me!'_

"I'm going with you then!" Dis turned to leave the room to go pack her own bag when Kili grabbed her arm. "No! You're safer here with Dwalin than in Dale. I don't feel negative energy here like I do there." Kili hugged his mother. "You moved here to keep me and Fili safe, and you were right to do so, and I thank you for that. But this is _my_ fight now, and I don't want anything to happen to you!" 

"I don't want anything to happen to you either, Kili! Please! Don't go back there! It might be a trap! Whoever attacked Bard might have done it to bring you back!" Dis couldn't hold back her tears as fear for son took over. 

"Then they're going to get what they want, because I don't want to hide and live in fear for myself or the people I care about anymore! This is going to end, Mom! I'm done playing games with these fucking bastards!" Dis knew there was no stopping him, and even with some pleading from Dwalin for him not to go would stop him from avenging his family's deaths now. 


	18. Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili's beginning to spiral, and it is a matter of time for him to finally snap.

Tauriel opened her apartment door throwing herself into Kili’s arms holding her tight she began to sob. “I was so afraid, Kili! When I found Bard, I thought he was dead! Why would somebody do that to him?!” Kili wasn't ready to tell her his or his mother’s theory on that just yet. 

“I thought this was a really nice place, but I’m scared to live here now!” She was obviously still very shaken by the whole incident. 

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about Tauri.” The only thing that mattered to Kili was to find out who did this so he could end it once and for all.

They sat in Tauriel's living room talking for hours about everything. Kili finally confided in his friend telling her almost all his family’s secrets. Mostly because it was therapeutic for him to get out all of his thoughts and feelings about everything, and he trusted her completely.

It was a lot to take in, but growing up and working in this sin city herself, Tauriel was more than understanding than Kili could ever hope for in an unfortunate way. Her father had also been murdered when she was young because his gambling debts had gone unpaid. 

“I’m sorry for all of your losses, Kee. Your mother was right leaving this town to raise you and Fili far away from here.”

“We had a great life growing up on the mountain. I’m sorry we ever came to Dale. We loved Thorin, and would've done anything for him, but he changed over time as he got deeper in debt with his gambling. Mom just recently told me everything. Fili and I had no clue his gambling had gotten that bad.” Ready to go back to his place, Kili stood and stretched.

“I’m just sorry Bard got involved by accident or on purpose, but don’t worry T. I’m going to find who did this, and when I do…I’m going to kill them.” Taken aback by the teen's brazen statement, Tauriel flinched at the psychotic smirk he flashed her.

“Kili, I-I…” The dark teen leaned down toward her and placed a finger on her lips. “Shh…” Kili snorted and quietly chuckled insanely for a moment leaving Tauriel even more disturbed with his confession. “It’s alright! I know what I’m doing! It wouldn’t be the first time…”

His friend studied him for a moment hoping he was making a sick joke. "Kili, have you been drinking again?" 

"No. But it sounds like a good idea." The eerie smile left his face as he grew even darker hurrying out the door to go to his place. Kili slammed his apartment door shut locking it all in one motion. Tequila did sound pretty good right about now, and there was an almost full bottle waiting for him in the kitchen. "Perfect." 

No need to do a shot, straight from the bottle was even better. Taking a swig from the bottle the teen painfully swallowed enjoying the burning sensation of the liquid sliding down his throat bringing back memories of Fili's eighteenth birthday when his brother gave him his first shot of alcohol. He remembered being only fifteen and how badly he wanted Fili to fuck him, but Fili stayed true to his word and waited until Kili turned eighteen. Kili's life revolved around Fili, and the day he died someone stole _his life_ too. The audacity of someone to think they could take what was his and get away with it! 

Going to his bedroom, he sat the bottle down and began pulling things out of his bags searching for his gun. When he found the weapon, Kili held it lovingly in his hands. Caressing the curves of the cold steel felt like sex to him. He remembered how he and Fili smeared Smaug's blood on their faces, and how Fili took him down in the sand on the banks of the lake washed in the blood of the man they killed fulfilling his promise to fuck him in Frerin’s killer’s blood. 

The bloodlust he once felt haunted him. He enjoyed the kill and wanted to feel that rush again. He wanted to bathe in the blood of Fili’s killers this time. It was a strange desire _wanting_ to kill again. He felt as if he’d killed many people in his past, and often had nightmares about it though he didn’t understand why. Killing Smaug never bothered his conscious one bit. Shooting that man was no different than how he shot and killed the vermin around his childhood mountain home in the woods. _Home._

Placing the gun on top of his dresser drawer, Fili’s framed photo caught his eye. Kili picked up the picture frame and wiped the glass with the sleeve of his hoodie. “I’m sorry I wasn’t with you the day you died Fee. If it was your fate to die that day, I should’ve died by your side. We should've died together. But I’ll have revenge...even if I die trying.”

~`~

Tossing and turning, Kili couldn’t sleep being barraged with memories from every age of his short life, both good and bad tormented him. He slammed his fist into the mattress angry he couldn’t turn off these images so he could sleep. Then he received a text that made his heart sink. Éomer was at his door. The man didn’t want to knock and have another gun pointed at him seeing it was so late at night again. 

Kili threw off his blanket and ran to the door. His first instinct seeing Éomer standing there was to be angry, but honestly he was so happy and grateful he was there to hold and comfort him. It was exactly what he needed right now. The blond pressed a kiss into his hair rocking him slowly. "Éomer, what're you doing here?" 

"I stopped by to see you since you hadn't returned any of my messages, and your mother told me what happened." Éomer brushed back some strands of hair stuck to Kili's tear stained cheeks. "Are you alright, Kee?" Immediately Kili looked away, but his new lover brought his gaze back to him. "Look at me. She told me _everything."_

Kili slowly let go of Eomer, and turned away going toward the living room as the blond shut the door and followed behind him. "You shouldn't have come here."

"I was worried about you! I want you to come home with me." 

"You don't understand." The raven haired teen turned away again, but Eomer gently pulled him back into his arms hoping to change his mind. 

"Kili, I just found you, and I don't want anything to happen to you! Please come back with me."

"And I don't want anything to happen to you! That's why you shouldn't have come here!" Kili was overwhelmed with so many emotions, he broke down in tears again going back to Eomer's loving arms. He was spent from riding an emotionally rollercoaster. "I'm so tired. I can't sleep...will you lay with me?" 

Éomer nodded and followed him to bed. Lying there in the dark, with a gentle touch the blond rubbed little circles up and down Kili's back to calm and relax him enough to finally fall asleep. For hours Éomer watched the brunet's troubled sleep wishing there was something he could do to take the pain away. He had no idea how much just lying there next to Kili was helping him mentally and emotionally until the teen woke up once long enough to turn toward him allowing his older man to hold him. Lying with his head pressed against the blond's chest, hearing the beating of his heart, Kili forgot all his worries knowing he was in the arms of someone who truly cared about him again. With a light sigh he finally drifted into a much needed deep and peaceful slumber. 

Seeing Kili finding happiness on earth again, made him happy for him, but now Fili was torn between wanting to help Kili find Azog and Bolg for a finally showdown, and wanting to keep him safely away from those wretched thugs. Sitting in the window sill the little blond ghost kept watch outside for any suspicious activity making sure for now with Éomer there, his brother would be safe. 


	19. For Those We Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo brings Thorin to his senses, and though Fili continues to kept his distance to help Kili move on with his life, an unforeseen turn of events causes him to abruptly return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Here Without You" 3 Doors Down

When Kili awoke in Éomer's arms, he kissed the sleeping blond and carefully brushed back his long blond hair. He was beautiful, kind, and caring, but Kili came to the realization the man had one major flaw. Éomer was not Fili. As much as he tired to move on with his life, and Éomer was a wonderful man that he cared for deeply, Kili still felt incomplete like a piece of his very being was missing. Fili was the missing piece that completed him, and though he tried, his dying spirit would never find peace in this mortal world without his brother at his side. 

Slipping away silently careful not to wake the blond, Kili left for his cousin's house. Knowing Ori was an early riser, and wouldn't mind the visit, he sent him a courtesy text letting him know he was on his way over. Ori was surprised to hear from Kili knowing he had been home with Dis for quite some time now, but was happy to welcome him in for a visit.

"And what brings you here so early in the morning, hmm?" Following Ori through his humble home to the back sitting room where he had been having his morning tea while working on his journal, Kili took a seat across from him at the small table for two.

"Ori, you're the only one that has been able to communicate with Fili clearly enough to understand what he tries to say to you, or...through you. I was having contact with him, but then it suddenly stopped altogether. It's been long time now, and I want to believe he's still with me, but I'm afraid since I've felt nothing, he might really be gone. Is there anyway you could maybe try to talk to him for me? Please? I need to know."

Ori felt sorry for Kili, seeing both hope and sadness in his sincere dark hazel eyes. "I'll try." Sitting his journal in his lap, Ori pursed his lips and waited in silence looking around. Catching sight of the way Kili was staring at him like he'd lost his mind, Ori did a double-take. "I'm sorry, is there something you want me to ask him?" 

"Orrri!" Kili whined.

Ori closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "Kee, I can't just make it happen! And I hate to tell you this, but...I don't _feel_ anything." It hurt to see the light in Kili's eyes go out, but he needed to be honest with him. "I'm sorry. I've always felt some kind of energy around you, and it's just not there now."

So it was true. Fili was really gone. With a nod, Kili stood to leave. "That's what I thought. Thanks for trying." 

Staying far enough away from any energy source and Kili not to be detected by Ori, Fili couldn't stand to see Kili become sad and depressed again over him. _'I'll keep my promise, Kee. Though you won't know it, I'll never leave you.'_ Fili hoped his brother would return to Éomer for comfort, but unfortunately, the distraught teen decided not to return home immediately. 

Instead a burning desire compelled him to return to the shores of Laketown behind the rundown old lake house on the edge of the town where he and Fili murdered Smaug. Driving in silence as the hum of the sports car and the gloomy grey skies lulled the teen into a haze while memories of that day flashed through his thoughts like watching a horror movie. 

Vengeance. The bloodied body of the man who they believe murdered their uncle lying lifeless on the blood soaked sand gave Fili and Kili a moment of satisfaction. High on adrenaline coursing through their veins, their bond was written in blood before they regained clearer minds working together to hide any evidence of foul play. 

Reaching beneath his long raven hair, the teen found the symbolic braid he wore for Fili. Smoothing fingers over the plaited hair, he lovingly toyed with the bead that held the braid in place. 

_'I need to be with you again, Fili. There is no life here without you. I don't feel like I'm meant to be here without you. Like I was meant to die with you that day.'_

Fili watched his brother intently wondering where his mind had wandered as the car came to a stop outside the abandoned home, making his way down to the shore. _'Go home, Kili! I don't like the way it feels here!'_

~`~

Thorin laid his phone down knowing Bilbo heard every word his sister shouted at him about as his little man tried to reason with him once again. "Listen to your sister, please! She's right, and Kili might put himself in real danger! Give up the casino, give them the Arkenstone. Give them whatever they want! I love you for you, not your fortune! You can't live the rest of your life like this or to continue putting every one you love and care about in danger!" 

"This fortune, the casino, the Arkenstone does not belong to anyone but my family! I cannot and will not give up everything that rightfully belongs to my family!" Thorin snapped. 

"What _family,_ Thorin?!" Bilbo shouted with a snort in disbelief at how utterly insane Thorin sounded worrying about a family fortune for a family he no longer had. "Your family has all but turned their backs on you because of your greed and selfishness! _They_ don't care about this business anymore!" Bilbo couldn't believe how stubborn Thorin was being in light of everything that had happened to his family. 

The silence that fell between them was thick as Thorin began to truly listen to Bilbo finally letting the truth sink in. 

In a much calmer, gentler tone, Bilbo gave the love of his life an ultimatum. "Please Thorin. Save yourself and your family from this torment, and come live with me in the Shire. You've always enjoyed it there whenever you've visited me. It's cozy and peaceful there. We can be together all the time living out our lives without having to look over our shoulders to make sure no one is watching, waiting for the right moment to kill us! Please...If you don't, I'll have no other choice but to end our relationship. I can't live like this anymore."

This wasn't anything new to consider. Thorin thought about this for years, but hearing Bilbo pleading with him, threatening to leave him for good was enough to reconsider what really mattered. 

"Alright." Thorin muttered in agreement. 

"What? D-do you mean it?" Bilbo's eyes lit up realizing he had gotten through to him, bringing Thorin to his senses at last. 

"I'll go with you. We'll get the Arkenstone and make arrangements to hand it over to Sauron or whoever he might send to collect it."

~`~

Kili stood on the shore of the lake behind the decrepit old house hypnotized by the waters lapping the sands near where he stood lost in thought. 

"Why are you here?" The deep rumbling voice shattered his thoughts as he spun around finding no one there.

Trembling with fear, Kili continued to look about searching to find where the voice had come from only to hear it speak to him again with a hiss. "Did you lose something the day you murdered me...Kili? Your mind perhaps?" The voice became even darker and more foreboding. 

As Fili's spirit caught up to Kili, he felt the presence of something very ominous. Something wasn't right, and Fili needed to get Kili out of there. 

"Where is your brother, hmm? He's not here to protect you now, is he?"

Fili couldn't see the evil spirit, but he knew who it was. _'Kili, go home now! Leave this place!'_

Petrified with fear, though he couldn't hear him, Kili felt a sense of light through the darkness as a warmth spread throughout his body as if being wrapped in a protective shroud taken as a warning from his brother. 

"Fili?!" Kili gasped with a sudden burst of adrenaline believing Fili had returned to him in his time of need as he turned in a hurry to head back to his car leaving the dark shore behind. 

"GO! RUN!" Breaking through the spirit realm, Fili was able to scream the only words Kili needed to hear as he heeded his brother's orders to sprint away seconds before a gunshot echoed across the lake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update, please forgive me! Though I may not be updating my stories quickly these days, I promise I will complete this one soon because it is coming to an end in a few chapters, and I would never leave a story unfinished no matter how long it takes or how painful it is for me to get through the end of one!  
> Please know I appreciate all of you patiently hanging in there to keep coming back to read my updates after such a long extended break <3  
> Thank you everyone for reading, and for leaving comments and kudos!


	20. Preparing For Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili's mind is set as he prepares himself for a final showdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Angels Fall" Breaking Benjamin

From high above the ground on the covered rotted wooden deck, Azog spun around crashing against the building from an unseen force as if something _or someone_ had slammed into him just as he had fired his gun at Kili who now had made it safely to his car. 

“What the fuck?!” The large brute of a man shook his head trying to recover from the impacted looking around for what could have slammed into him causing him miss his target.

 _'You took my life, you fucking prick! But I won't let you take Kili too!'_ Fili shouted at his killer though Azog could not see nor hear him. 

Searching beneath the drivers seat and glove compartment, fear and anger fueling his focus on finding his gun, Kili smashed his fist into the dashboard with frustration when he realized for the first time in years he didn’t bring it with him nor any weapon for that matter. There was no time to consider any option other than he had to get out of there fast.

By the time the hitman gathered himself, he spat and cursed as the sports car ushered his prey too far away to get another good shot at him. "I know you'll be back, Durin." Azog growled. "And I'll be waiting for you..." 

Speeding across the bridge back toward Dale, Kili's mind raced. Obviously someone was trying to kill him, and Fili was there to save him. 

_Fili._ He hadn't gone away after all, but why hadn't he made contact with him anymore? Why did he let him fall for Éomer? 

_Éomer._ "Shit! I forgot about Éomer!" It was by chance he wandered to the shores of Laketown, but Kili couldn't help worrying about leaving his friend alone at the apartment. 

Frantically grabbing his cell, Kili called Éomer after seeing several texts from him, and upon his answer he began pleading with his friend to leave. "Please go home, it's not safe here for you! Bard almost lost his life because of me, and I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you too! Please just go!"

"I came here to take you home with me! I'm not leaving until you go with me so I know you're safe! Where are you? What's going on?"

 _'And I thought Fili was stubborn!'_ "Éomer, I appreciate how much you care about me, but what is going on doesn't concern you! I need to end those responsible for killing my family and for trying to kill Bard so I can finally find some peace because I know Fili is still with me, and I still love him!" The second the words left his mouth, he knew how cold it must have sounded. "I'm sorry." 

The other end of the line was quiet for a moment as Éomer tried to comprehend what his friend was saying. "Kili! I understand your pain, but you can't just turn vigilante! What's going on?!" 

"No! You don't understand my pain! No one can! Fili should've _never_ left me here alone!" Through Kili's anger, it became clear to him now how this day would end. 

As the sports car edged closer to town, Kili wasn't sure where he was going, but he was certain he did not want Éomer at his apartment went he returned. "Please. I'm begging you to go back to Ered Luin. Tell my mother you couldn't find me. She won't blame you for not trying hard enough to bring me back with you...but, Éomer? Could you do one thing for me..."

Éomer listened closely for what Kili would have him do. "If I should die, tell my mother you knew how much I loved her, and I'll be happier being with Fili again."

"Die?! Kili! No! What are you saying?!"

"I won't stop until I kill the bastard that took my brother from me...and I may not live to enjoy the success of my revenge...know that you had a special place in my heart, Éomer. This was not meant to be your fate. Thank you for being there when I needed you."

"Kili! Where are you?" The phone was silent, and there was nothing Éomer could do to stop him now. 

*

Tauriel was folding some clothes in her bedroom when she received the urgent call from Kili asking her to let him know when Éomer had left his apartment. "What are you doing, Kili?"

The unstable teen regained composure long enough to sound sincere in his request. "We, uh...had a fight. I asked him to leave before I got there. I just need you to let me know when he's gone...please." 

"I'm not buying it."

"Tauri!"

"Kili, I've known you long enough to know that tone. You're up to something!"

"I thought you were my friend!"

"I AM your friend! That's _why_ I'm questioning what you are doing!"

Kili was completely exasperated with everyone. Someone literally just tried to kill him, and he couldn't get anyone to cooperate with him. "Tauri! I'm begging you! If you really care about me, you will tell me when Éomer is gone! Please!"

*

Éomer didn't want to leave Kili in the state of mind he was in still not knowing what was happening, but something urged him to go. He grabbed his bag and called Dís on the way out.

"I don't know where he is, but he's not thinking clearly right now, Dís. I want to find him, but I'm not familiar with this town and I don't know where to look!" 

Dís didn't expect Éomer to put himself in danger, nor would she ask it of him. "Come home, Éomer. You should've never gone there. I appreciate how much you care for Kili, but this is our business. I shouldn't have told you everything." Staring at Dwalin as she spoke, Dís was comforted having him there with her, but rage was building. "Don't worry. I'm going to call my brother. He's the one that needs to find Kili."

The second Dís hung up from speaking with Éomer, she called Thorin, but unfortunately got his voicemail. "Where are you, Thorin? I don't know what's going on, but Kili's friend just called me very concerned about him. Something's wrong! You need to find him! If you've ever cared about me or Kili, you'll find him and set things right. Bring my son home to me, Thorin...please...I've already lost so much, I can't lose my baby too..."

*

Tauriel followed through letting Kili know when Éomer was gone, but she waited for him ready to confront him. 

The teen bounded up the stairs of his apartment building, stopping in his tracks seeing his friend blocking his door. "There's nothing to discuss with you, Tauri."

"You're going to have to shove me out of the way if you want inside unless you tell me now what's going on." 

Kili had never laid a rough hand on a female, but this was no time for games. "Please move. I don't have time for this. I don't want to hurt you." 

When Tauriel saw how disturbed Kili appeared with a crazed look in his eyes, she took the warning to stand aside. "Kili..." Cautiously lying a hand on the brunet's shoulder as he worked to unlock the door, he paused to hear her out. "Go home to your mother. Fili wouldn't have wanted this for you."

Kili let the words sink in, but it wasn't enough. "It's too late." Turning quickly, he wrapped her in his arms holding her tight burying his face in her long auburn hair. Nothing she nor anyone could say would sway his thoughts and plans. "Thank you for being such a good friend..."

Letting go, tears streamed down Tauriel's cheeks knowing her friend was heading down a path of self destruction, and this was their last good-bye. Kili was either going to murder someone and end up in jail, or he was going to die seeking his revenge. 

*

The first thing Kili did as he entered his apartment was go straight to the kitchen to find a bottle of alcohol. It didn't matter what it was as long as he had something to relax him as he gathered his scattered thoughts still hearing the sound of the gunshot that had been aimed to kill him. "That motherfucker's going down!" He muttered to himself as his eyes wildly darted about. 

Still breathing heavily, the teen drank straight from a bottle of Vodka as he went to his bedroom. "Fili? Are you here?" Hoping to feel the cold static energy dance upon his warm skin, Kili looked around the room waiting for a sign of his brother's presence, but there was nothing. With a sigh, Kili went to retrieve his gun from a bag he had taken with him when he had gone home to stay with his mother. The little bit of alcohol he drank had begun to calm his nerves enough to focus on what he was about to do. 

"There you are!" Kili exclaimed upon finding his favorite weapon. Holding the gun that had always felt so good in his hand, somehow didn’t seem as if it would be enough to satisfy him in his quest for blood now. Going to the closet, Kili pulled out one of Fili’s prized knives. Dragging a finger along the blade testing it for sharpness, he drew blood as a wick smirk grew as dark intentions of killing filled his mind. 

“I knew I could count on you to have your knives sharpened to perfection, Fee.”

Leaving the bedroom, giving it one last look, his eyes were drawn to the framed photo of his brother sitting on his nightstand. It was time. Stashing the knife and gun into the pockets of his leather jacket, the teen let bloodlust take him as he rushed toward the door to leave. Swinging the door open, the doorknob was suddenly ripped from his grasp as the door slammed shut.

“What the?” Kili grabbed the doorknob, twisting and pulling on it the door couldn’t be opened no matter how hard he tried. “Fili!” He shouted, feeling the only reason why he couldn’t pry the door open was because his brother was trying to stop him. 

_'Don't go Kili!'_ Fili knew he couldn't hold the door for long, hoping his brother would get the message. 

Reaching up Kili's arms, the cold chill so familiar to the brunet had returned instantly calming him for a moment. "Fili...why'd you leave me?" Tears came to his eyes, wishing he could hold his brother, needing to feel their warm bodies together again. "Please don't stop me from what I need to do. I know you're trying to protect me, but...even angels never die, Fee. You're proof of that!" 

Wiping away the tears, Kili found his strength and determination once more. Though he could only see the white door, he looked directly into Fili's eyes as if he were a tangible being. "Please. You believed in me the day we killed Smaug. Believe in me again. Let me do this."

Fili could feel the hate in his brother's spirit, but the sorrow he harbored there was even heavier filling him with a different kind of darkness. The light within Kili's spirit was dying. Maybe vengeance was the only way to _save_ him. 

The door unlatched. "Thank you." Kili's breath hitched suddenly as a burst of energy passed through him just before he felt the slight tingling chill pressing lightly against his lips in a ghostly kiss. "Come with me, Fee. I can't do this alone. I need you by my side...and Fili? Don’t ever leave me again…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no turning back now! Kili's ready to fight to the death, and let's not forget about Thorin ;)


	21. I'm Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili's quest for revenge will begin and end this day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Close To Heaven" Breaking Benjamin - the lyrics to this song couldn't have been more perfect for Kili in this final chapter.
> 
> I must apologize for the long delays on this story, but I hope these last few chapters were worth the wait. This last chapter was written and rewritten several times until I was satisfied. Not only that, but I had a very difficult time writing it because it brought me to tears more than a few times. I may never write anything like this again.

Stepping out of the apartment building walking down the sidewalk, Kili welcomed the crisp autumn air taking in a deep cleansing breath. It felt like home in the mountain woods of Ered Luin. The smell of warm cinnamon and apples from the bakery down the street hung sweetly in the air reminding him of days when he and Fili would pick apples from their orchard and beg their mother to bake her delicious apple pie for them. For a moment, Kili lost himself in memories of his childhood long before he and Fili learned the truth about their father's death. A time before he ever feared for his own life. 

“That smells so good! Reminds me of Ma's apple pie. Can you smell that, Fili?” Sounded like a silly question to them both now that he said it out loud. “Can ghost even smell anything?”

Such a thing to think about at a time like this. It was so Kili, but he loved him for it. Fili rolled his eyes as his spirit lingered by his brother’s side heading toward the car. _'No, I can’t, and it sucks! I miss the smell and taste of Mom's pies!’_

Wrapping his fingers around the gun in his pocket, the raven haired teen had actually used the slight diversion of his childhood memories to fuel his desire to kill, never losing sight of his mission. "You know I'm doing this for Ma to keep her safe as much as I'm doing this for revenge and to give me some peace of mind..." 

_'I know, Kee. Dad's been watching over Mom, but there's only so much we can do here. Just be careful. I'll try to protect you the best I can.'_

Before Kili reached his car, a familiar armored black Hummer pulled up behind him. _"Thorin..."_ he growled with a heavy sigh. The second he tried to turn away, a wall of cold blocked his path.

As the dark tinted window rolled down, Kili scowled at his uncle and snapped at him sarcastically wondering why he was there. "The mighty king left his fortress...this must be important."

"Get in." Bluntly stated, Thorin wasn't angry, but it was an order the teen knew he should follow. 

Looking around out of habit, Kili made sure no one was watching as he reached for the car door handle feeling a spark of cold energy touch his hand causing him to let out a slight gasp.

"Are you alright?"

The brunet stepped into the SUV to take a seat and close the door. Grumbling, he watched the dark tinted window glide shut. "That depends on what you mean by _alright._ " 

At the sudden sound of the vehicle doors locking, Kili shot his uncle a look. "What're you doing?"

"Taking you to the airport. Dís called me. I'm putting you on a plane home to your mother where you belong." Putting the vehicle in gear, Thorin began to drive, and Kili panicked. "She's very worried about you." 

"No!" Grabbing at the door handle, Kili tried desperately to unlock the door. "Let me out!"

"Kili!" Thorin threw the SUV in park, watching his panicked passenger knowing he couldn't escape the armored vehicle. "Kili, stop!" 

"Let me go!" Slamming his fist against the car door window in anger for failing to unlock the door, Thorin reached over and hooked an arm around the raging teen, pulling him toward him enough to get both arms around him and held him there against his chest until he could feel some of the ridged tension wane. 

"Kili..." Gently stroking his long dark hair to calm him like he did when Kili was a child, Thorin held him tightly wishing he could turn back time. "...I love you. I am truly sorry about everything that has happened to our family, and the anguish I've caused you. Greed is an evil, blinding thing, and I'm sorry it took me so long to come to my senses."

As his breathing slowed, Kili looked up and saw the regret in Thorin's eyes. "I sent Bilbo home to get the Arkenstone, and I'm going to turn everything over to Sauron. Please forgive me, Kili." 

Shaking his head, it still wasn't enough. He could forgive Thorin. He understood the world they lived in was wrought by greed, though that was not how his mother raised him and Fili. The problem was, it didn't matter what his uncle did now. Kili knew whoever shot at him meant to kill him and would have if Fili hadn't intervened, and they could care less about what Thorin had to offer them. 

"Thorin please, you have to let me go."

"Where were you going? What are you doing that has your mother so upset?"

"She doesn't know. Let's just say I need to get revenge so I can get on with my life without worrying about someone trying to kill me or my family, or friends...if I don't die in the process." With a slight hesitation, Kili wasn't sure if he wanted to tell his uncle about incident at the lake house. "Someone tried to kill me earlier today." 

Thorin released his hold on his nephew and sat back in his seat as his deep voice rumbled. "I can't let you do this..."

"Thorin, I..."

"Kili! I was going to say, I can't let you do this _alone_." Kili was stunned realizing what his uncle was saying. No one would take the life of another one of his family members, and hearing Kili out, Thorin was ready to end their torment as well. Long ago, Frerin told Thorin what a great marksman their nephew was, and he would not doubt his abilities, nor his determination. "I'm going with you. Where do we need to go?"

"I'm not alone, Thorin."

"What do you mean?"

"You're going to think I'm crazy...er..." Lifting his eyes to meet Thorin's, he knew how he would react to what he needed to tell him. "Fili's with me." Seeing the confused look on his uncle's face, he was worried Thorin would take him straight the mental hospital instead of his intended destination. "He's here with us right now."

"Kili..."

"No, I'm serious. Fee, touch him, do something to let him know I'm telling the truth."

Thorin feared his nephew had gone mad until he began to feel the cold static energy on his cheek. The same cold yet tranquil feeling Kili had become accustom to feeling. He knew what he was feeling wasn't normal. It wasn't just cold air brushing against his skin. It was a feeling of peacefulness that washed over him to touch his heart. It was love.

Thorin gasped as tears came to his eyes, and he choked on his whispered words. "It...really is...Fili?" 

With tears threatening to flood his eyes, Kili nodded as his bottom lip began to quivered. "He loved you, Thorin. He only ever wanted to please you. We both would've done anything for you." 

"Fili! I'm so sorry for what I did to you! For everything. I never meant for any of you to die!" The young man never thought he'd see the day his uncle would break. Falling to pieces, Thorin let go of the guilt and pain he'd held inside for so many years, begging forgiveness for his selfishness, weeping uncontrollably. "I loved Vili like a brother! My brother! Frerin, I'm so sorry I didn't do anything to save you..." 

Now it was Kili's turn to comfort his uncle holding him like a child, he pulled him into his arms. Grief, pain and sorrow spewed from the man, returning darkness to the angry teen's heart. Thorin's greed may have been the initial reason for the deaths of their loved ones, but he was not evil. He was not the one who ended their lives. "It'll be over soon."

Pushing Thorin out of his arms, he regained control of himself and the situation again. "Do you have any weapons in here, or should I go back inside to get something for you?" Scanning the interior of the armored vehicle, Kili assumed he would have some sort of weapon as his eyes landed on the gun strapped to the console. 

Wiping his face, Thorin cleared his throat and reached between his seat and the console to pull out a most impressive, beautifully detailed engraved dagger. "No. I'm good." 

With an arched brow, Kili gave a nod. So much he didn't know about his eldest uncle. "You're full of surprises today. Let's go. I'll show you the way."

*

The ride to their destination was silent unlike the many thoughts of what was and what could be that flooded their minds. Fili sat on Kili's lap, and kissed him. _'Be careful, Raven. I'm going to check things out before you get there.'_ And though Kili enjoyed what he recognized as a kiss from Fili, he didn't know what his brother's ghost was doing for them as he felt the presence of his spirit leave him. "Fili! Don't leave!"

Thorin glanced over at his nephew with concern. "What's wrong?"

"Fili left me!" Not understanding how or why Fili ever left him before still concerned Kili as he worried now his spirit may have gone away not of his own will. 

"Maybe he's gone ahead to check things out for us?"

Yes. What Thorin considered was logical and something Fili would do. Fili would never leave him now in the eleventh hour. "Yeah. That must be what he's doing."

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" 

What Thorin may have read as fear, wasn't the fear of fighting without Fili at his side. Kili feared not being with Fili at all more than death itself. And what if he died and his brother was not there for him? 

Pulling the gun from his pocket, visions of Fili's bloodied and bruised, blue skinned body lying lifeless on the coroners steel table flashed before his eyes. "I've never been more ready for anything in my life." 

Wanting to clear his conscious and put any doubts Thorin may have had about him to rest, Kili began his confession. "I'm not afraid to fight...or kill...Smaug didn't disappear." Catching Thorin's curious look, he spoke with confidence, unemotionally telling his tale of murder without a hint of remorse. "Fili and I killed him. But I'm not a cold blooded murderer, Thorin. It was vengeance for what they did to Frerin, and we felt we were just in doing so." 

The smirk on Thorin's face was not the reaction he expected from his uncle, as he snorted and shook his head. "I had my suspicions." And that was all that needed to be said on the matter as Kili relaxed feeling the weight of his darkest secret fade. 

Parked near the rundown old house at the border of Laketown hidden far enough away not to be seen, they were only minutes away from their destiny. Kili glanced over to see his uncle texting someone.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm letting Bilbo know what we're doing...and telling him how much I love him...just in case."

He didn't need him to explain what 'just in case' meant. He knew, and had already sent a message to his mother via Éomer and said his good-byes to his friend, Tauriel 'just in case'.

Thorin and Kili stared at one another for a moment contemplating what to do next. They never had time to lay out a strategic plan. They left in haste with only an agenda to take out the gunman who tried to kill Kili earlier that day, and anyone else who might be in the house with him.

He couldn't take it anymore. Too much thinking, too much waiting was driving him insane. The second Thorin unlocked the car doors, Kili bolted from the vehicle with his uncle shouting once to stop him.

"Kili, stop!" Instantly stopping, he knew he was being reckless as Thorin caught up to him. What exactly did he think he was doing charging toward the house without a plan? 

"We need to get him out of the house. If we go inside, we're at a disadvantage not knowing how many people are in there or our way around and could get trapped." Agreeing with his uncle, Kili had a vision about being trapped in a strange place, somewhere he knew he'd never been. Thorin's plan made sense, and apparently Fili had the same plan.

As the two men approached the house trying to use what sparse bit of overgrowth of bushes as cover, someone came outside looking around as if he were looking for something. Kili's keen eyesight saw the gun in the large man's hand. _'I've seen him before. The casino! We ran into each other at the casino!'_ The thought of someone stalking him or any of his family at the casino sent the teen into a rage. 

Lifting the gun to take aim, Thorin put a hand on the weapon to lower it, shaking his head. "We're too far away. If you miss, we'll be exposing ourselves. We need to get closer."

Timing was everything. The two were able to maneuvered closer, but unfortunately they didn't see Azog's accomplice waiting to ambush them. It was all a blur what happened next. In a flurry of shouting, gunfire and the flash of a silver blade, Thorin's dagger slashed Bolg's neck open knocking him off balance, giving the brunet time to fire a shot hitting Azog in the shoulder as he tried to warn his nephew "Kili! Look out!" 

"Thorin! No!" To Kili's horror he tried to stop him as he spun around, but it was too late. Taking a knife to the chest in a spray of blood to shield his nephew from Bolg's attack, Thorin fell to the ground. "K-Kill him!" 

Never taking his eyes off his dying uncle lying at his feet, never looking to aim at his target, in a split second as he had practiced so many times, Kili swiftly raised his arm and fired his gun once shooting Bolg between the eyes killing him instantly. 

Thorin's body shook and trembled turning cold as he tried to speak in short, ragged breathes. "For....give...me...K-Kili..." 

With eyes still locked on one another, Kili's heart filled with anguish for the loss of yet another family member, and hate for the one who took his life. "I forgive you, Thorin." There wasn't time to grieve. He wasn't even sure if Thorin lived long enough to hear he had been forgiven. 

At the same time Kili shot Bolg, Azog was about to fire his gun at him, but the weapon was aggressively knocked from his grip once more from what, he did not know. 

The vile man held his wounded shoulder bleeding through his fingers, and laughed knowing he was going to be shot again as the gun in Kili's hand was aimed directly at him now. "You fucking little shit! Do it, Durin! Kill me! _If_ you think you can!"

Painted in the splattered blood of his kin, Kili narrowed his eyes and fired his gun twice hitting Azog in the chest both times, but it never slowed the savage brute from charging him. Knocking him down before he could fire a third shot, Kili had no chance to escape Azog's massive frame pinning him to the ground. It became a wrestling match over the gun as the teen tried desperately to twist his wrist around to aim at his attacker. 

Azog won the gun away from its owner, but much to his dismay it refused to fire, jamming as he pulled the trigger. He growled as he discarded the useless weapon, and pulled a knife from his pocket. Kili's quick reflexes grabbed the man's wrists with both hands to keep the blade from piercing his heart. 

The blood was draining rapidly from the wounds that ripped through his flesh, but Azog was determined and refused to die until he had fulfilled his merciless desire to kill Kili. 

_'This is it...so this is how it ends...I have to kill him!'_ Kili was tired, and weakening. Azog was larger and so much stronger than he, but while holding onto the man's wrists pushing him back suddenly wasn't as hard to do as if he had grown stronger. _'Fili!'_

"Fili! I can't hold on much longer! He's too strong!" Managing to free one leg, Kili tried to shove the behemoth of a man off of him with his foot, giving him an ounce of hope, but he knew Fili could only do so much to help him. 

Azog quirked his head and growled in aggravation. "Who the fuck are you talking to?!"

"Not you, you fucking piece of shit!"

Shaking and seething with hatred for this despicable being trying to take his life, Kili remembered Fili's knife he had in his pocket. There was no way he could let go even with one hand to get the knife. He knew it was over. Azog was just too strong, and he was becoming increasingly weaker with every passing second.

"Let go, Fili." With arms shaking under the pressure forced upon him, the teen knew he wasn't going to win this battle and it infuriated him. 

It was taking all the energy Fili could muster to hold Azog back from killing his brother. He couldn't bear to watch him die like this. "No, Kili! You can do this!"

Kili gasped. "I heard you, Fee!"

"What the fuck are you babbling about?" Azog was irritated Kili wasn't pleading for his life, mumbling to someone he couldn't see.

"Shut up, asshole!" He shook his head in defeat, breathing jagged breaths as he questioned his fate. "I'm done, Fili! I can't live without you anymore...promise me...you'll be waiting for me..." 

"Yes, but..." Fili wanted nothing more than to be with Kili again, but this was not how it should end. 

_'Fili! Let him go!'_ Fili heard their father, but still couldn't release the blade threatening to kill his brother. _'Fili! It's time for Kili to join us!'_

"When I die, will I be yours forever, Fee?" 

"Yes." The ghost replied, praying it wasn't a lie. 

"I'm not afraid to die as long I know we'll be together. I love you, Fili!"

"I love you too, Kili! It'll be alright. I promise I'll be here waiting for you. Come to me, brother...I'll let go...when you do..." 

Before the wretched man could spat another word, Kili released his grip with one hand and swiftly pulled the knife from his pocket and jammed the blade into the side of Azog's head at the same time Azog plunged his knife into Kili's chest with crushing force as blood gushed forth from the wound. The dead man rolled off his victim, sprawled on the ground beside the dying teen. 

Knowing he had accomplished what he set out to do, to avenge his family's deaths and to make sure his mother would be safe, gave the raven haired teen satisfaction accepting his mortal life was over. Now he could die in peace, and was ready to pass on, for he knew what awaited him in the next life. 

_"I'm coming home, Fee..."_ Staring wide-eyed at the grey cloudy skies above, Kili choked on the thick blood filling his lungs knowing the end was near awaiting death's embrace. The evening skies darkened and the clouds began to drift apart to reveal a single bright star shining down upon him. The world fell silent, and his vision turned black, as his life faded away with one final breath.

*

Dís knelt on the ground next to Bilbo to share in his grief for Thorin. She turned her eyes away only to read the name of her second eldest brother, Frerin, etched in the stone beside Thorin's grave. Those of whom she loved so dearly in life now lie still and silent side-by-side in these graves forever. Greed had taken everything from the one person that was able to walk away from it. It wasn't fair, to be left behind to pick up the pieces of a shattered life. All too surreal, too much to accept she had lost every member of her immediate family in such a violent manner. 

_'No one should ever have to bury their child!'_ she thought, yet Dís had to endure the nightmare of losing her youngest child less than a year after her first born had been taken from her. _'Wasn't it bad enough to lose Vili and Fili, but now Kili had to be taken from me as well?'_ Leaning against Dwalin, her sole support in this forsaken life, the trembling hand of a grieving mother laid a single white calla lily on the grave of her youngest son, and wrapped her fingers gently around the fragile plastic beaded acorn necklace she wore around her neck. "My baby...good-bye, Kili..." 

*

White. An endless sea of white pure as starlight was all Kili could see as he became conscious of his surroundings. Serene tranquility filled his spirit washing away any fear he ever had. Even when he saw a shadow slowly moving toward him, he never felt the need to flee. It was the most indescribably beautiful being both in sight and spirit as color and shapes began to form around him filling the void with life. 

"Fili!" Watching his brother's spirit turn tangible before him as they transcended, Kili remembered that look on his face. It was how Fili looked at him with love on his eighteenth birthday in Rivendell after they made love for the first time many months ago. 

"Kili! I've missed you so much!" The blonde threw his arms around his brother to give him a long awaited passionate kiss. 

Their bodies no longer bleeding, bruised and battered, were as perfect as each of them could've ever been at eighteen and twenty-three, dressed in their favorite clothes. Being in Fili's arms again, this was truly heaven Kili thought though he had no idea _where_ they really were. It didn't matter as long as he was with his beloved brother again. 

Content and filled with joy, Kili was home now being with Fili as well as Frerin, his father, Thorin and all the rest of his ancestors who had passed on before him. He would miss his mother and her tender hugs and kisses, but he knew the time would come many years from now she would join them, as well as the rest of his cousins would someday. 

In this world not much unlike the world he just left, they were whole beings, and all their senses were very much alive again. With Kili and Thorin there now, they all had passed into another dimension that allowed them to become immortal. They would be allowed to cross dimensions to a spirit world that hovered just above the mortal world so they could still interact with those they'd left behind as spirits with the help of an energy source if they so chose to. 

After learning about where they had transcended and how life worked here, Fili and Kili laughed playfully plotting mischievous plans to give Nori a late night visit, but for now they had much catching up to do as they found their new home. 

The taste of Kili’s kisses, the scent of his skin and hair, the feel of his body pressed against his own, the way it felt to bring their hips together to make love to the only person he’d ever truly loved again was all Fili would ever need for eternity. 

Feeling the blond's beard brush against his skin as he kissed him everywhere, Kili hummed with pleasure feeling complete and sated after Fili brought them both to climax. It was so good to be able to feel their _warm_ bodies together again. There was no where else in the universe he'd rather be. 

Lying beneath his brother, Kili slipped his fingers into Fili's soft golden curls looking into those sky blue eyes he'd missed so much. He was ecstatic being in this position again, but something was bothering him, and he needed to get it off his mind so he could move forward in his new life. “Fili, I was angry when you died because you ran off without me. And then, I was angry because your spirit left me!"

"I never left you." Fili's grin and cocked eyebrow made his brother even more curious. 

"Well, whatever." Releasing his fingers from that golden mop of spun gold, Kili waved a hand carelessly. "Thank you for coming back and trying to protect me." 

Gazing back into Kili's dark soulful eyes, Fili's grin turned to smile. “My very existence has always been to protect you, Kili. We lived a life before that one, and possible many others, though I don't remember any of them. I had visions of strange places from time-to-time, but I always knew in my heart you were always my reason for living, and my love for you is infinite.”

"As my love for you is infinite as well, Fili." Kili's bright smile filled his brother's heart with love and joy. 

Hands slipping around Kili's back to pull him close again, Fili slid his leg between his brother's thighs to hold him against himself to feel the heat growing between them, and to feel his heart beat through his chest, sharing another intimate kiss ready to make love to him once more. The brunet playfully licked and nipped at his brother's bottom lip, giving him a sultry look, teasing him with those dark doe eyes. 

Thinking about what they had been told earlier, Kili had to ask innocently causing Fili's dimples to show. “So, just too make sure I understood what Grandfather Thrór said, we're never going to die again, right? We’ll be together this way forever now, right Fili?” 

“Yes, Kili. We'll be this age forever, and we'll never die again. We're immortal now, and will live this way together forever until the end of time, my love.”

_Indeed, they would live their lives in peace, frozen in time. Mahal had called them home, for this was truly the end of their soul's mortal journeys proving one last time they should spend eternity as one. Fili and Kili would live together in peace forevermore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long time ago, without going into detail, I had an unexplained encounter with what I could only describe as a dark ominous presence while traveling the Blue Ridge Parkway in NC. I wasn't convinced such things existed, until that happened. All I'll say is, don't ever stop to check out one old log cabin in particular at sunset...just sayin' ;)  
> If anyone has had an experience with the supernatural or something unexplained, please tell me about it here in the comments or send me a private message on Tumblr I'd love to hear from you!  
> http://reallywhatisreality.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and I certainly appreciate all of your comments and kudos! <3


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